Okay, I've only posted a few times, and the replies I have gotten from my topic were helpful, I guess this is more of a vent than anything. I post on another site as well, but I'm kinda looked up to there and feel weird complaining about petty stuff like this..meh, I dunno, I'm confusing myself a lot lately, I don't know why or how I even can comprehend myself..(if that made any sense at all, let me know because I don't really know what I just said.)
Yesterday when I got home, I cried from about give or six in the evening until about one in the morning...I couldn't stop thinking about dying, thinking about how nobody cares...becaus ein all honesty, nobody really does, and even if they do it's destined to end. Our lives are given to us simply to be taken away, it's that simple, no changing that. We do every little thing we can in life so that what..we can ultimatle die? How ironic is life? Why not just spped up the process a little, that's what I don't understand, then when I try, it doesn't work, nothing ever works...why can't things just go how you plan? Why can nothing be gah... I don't even know what I'm ranting about...sorry..
Posts: 13 | Location: Montana, United States | Registered: 02-12-04
Nope...we are given our lives that we may live them. What we do with those lives is ultimately up to each of us, and if we touch enough other lives along the way, we've succeeded. And "plan" is a four letter word for a reason...I, for example, had a plan to move to another state by now, but so far I am not much closer to Oregon than I was 3 months ago... Please don't let the roadblocks and detours make you think the journey is pointless.
Posts: 2243 | Location: Western United States | Registered: 06-03-02
Life is nothing and that's the great part. You can do whatever you want so that it makes you happy. If one way isn't working, try another way. Do something else. Just find something that you can enjoy during this time. Take the opportunity you have. If something doesn't work, it's just part of your experiences.
So don't expect everything to go right. The world doesn't have good or bad. It's just there. You're the one who judges things. So just strive to do what makes you feel good and work off of the things that bother you.
Posts: 6501 | Location: Grayson, Georgia, USA | Registered: 06-03-02
I just wanted to say its good that you are crying. Its best to cry and get rid of those emotions rather than bottling them up inside. I used to cry a lot and then I stopped crying. That is where my problems started. But, I am past them now...
Posts: 720 | Location: Wichita Falls, Texas | Registered: 06-04-02
It sounds like you are having a meltdown, something I think we all have at one time or another throughout our lives. Life is like the alphabet..A to Z...'A' being You Are Born, and 'Z' being, You Die, so sometimes you think, 'what's the point of bothering with the rest of the alphabet, all the crap in between? Sometimes it's just a phase, or a mood. Things have ya down and it seems like there just is no point. It's the big picture that is so scary. The future, and what is the right way to fill in the blanks until you die. Sounds morbid, I know, but, that's how it feels sometimes. Peach is right, sometimes crying is an excellent way to rid yourself of inner toxins, and MrsS, as always has hit the nail on the head. If everything went the way you planned, then life would be too predictable, there'd be no surprises in life, and to me, that's when I'd really feel that there was no point to it all. Life, from birth to death, is what you make it, good times, bads times and everything in between, the subtleties of life, and ironies, but most importantly,life is the things we 'leave behind' for our children and grandchildren, and so on, and so on, and so on. It isn't just what we take from our time here on earth, nor what our time on earth gives to us. It's what we do with it, and who we do it for. Yes, we are all going to die, maybe even our precious earth will die someday, and that is a hard thing to think about, but until that time comes, try not to focus on the end, but rather the journey. It's good to think about the things that are troubling you, but if it becomes compulsive or obsessive, or you continue to have thoughts of just 'speeding things up', then you should see your doctor, talk to a professional. Keep your chin up and post back so we know how you are feeling.
Death is a part of life, just like life is a part of death. The question is: why live if I will eventually die? And this leads us to a new question: Which is the difference between existing and living?
Many people do not really LIVE their lives. They go on, day by day existing and surviving another day of emptyness, leading a life without meaning. Living is different. Living has meaning. Living can be a pleasure fed by many pleasures of life: listening to profound music, smelling a flower, laughing with friends or helping others. Each person finds what pleases him the most and decides to live for that. They dedicate their existence to a personal goal or a personal challenge that will make them feel fulfilled. Reaching those goals and living those fantasies can be the reason to live, not a reason to die.
However, as I said, each individual will have his or her own reasons, so yours are up to you to find out.
Ask yourself this question: Are you living your life or are you existing? Find out what makes you feel good about yourself and about the world. Set yourself a goal each day or each week and feel how good it is to reach them. Stop existing and start living. There are many reasons why a person will choose to live.
Thanks for the replies you guys..guess I'm just kinda stuck in a rut lately...but hey...the peaks of the mountains are only as great as the valleys are low.
Posts: 13 | Location: Montana, United States | Registered: 02-12-04
quote:Originally posted by bri872002: I don't understand, then when I try, it doesn't work, nothing ever works...why can't things just go how you plan?
may i suggest you do some volunteer work in an aids clinic or hospital. i think it would be helpful to you to get a good, close look at death.
I think that you are merely feeling unappreciated due, in part, to your not setting goals. When you have goals, you can revel at each level of accomplishment toward those goals. If your only goal is to pig out a few times each day, then do that, and please your taste buds. Perhaps you need to step back and get a larger perspective so that your appetite for getting and GIVING in the world increases. Sometimes we have to be satisfied with just giving, because others are too busy or other to be appreciative. Keep active even if mainly your mind is active.
quote:Originally posted by bri872002: I don't understand, then when I try, it doesn't work, nothing ever works...why can't things just go how you plan?
may i suggest you do some volunteer work in an aids clinic or hospital. i think it would be helpful to you to get a good, close look at death.
I have volunteered at multiple organizations like those.
Posts: 13 | Location: Montana, United States | Registered: 02-12-04
