my brother is in some serious trouble. i'm not sure what to think...

he's not self-destructive or threatening in any way, but he's in a downward spiral. he faces heavy rejection at elementary school. kids won't let him on the basketball team because "he sucks". he's a follower, and he skates/rollerblades because a really cool kid does. he gives his own possessions to seem cool to this really cool kid (i'll call him derek). derek mooches off my brother for lunch money, derek insults my brother, derek takes my brother's stuff and leads my brother on into thinking he's cool (well, almost cool, he always needs to bring in one more thing to be really cool), and there's a whole struggle with popularity. it's having a very harsh effect on him. my brother will break down into fits at the slightest sign of someone not agreeing with him and doing what he wants. for example, i didn't have a "special breakfast treat" (that his therapist prescribed -_-) for breakfast like the rest of the family does. i had it for a snack after school. my brother saw this and immediately started yelling at me and eventually started crying.

i went through the same thing at his age, but i have a very high pain tolerancy, emotional or otherwise. so i just became a loner. (that's since changed, and my mom wants to know my secret).

my mom is at wits end with my brother. she takes him to (expensive) therapy sessions that just end up being a scheduling hassle and aren't any help at all. my mom gets angry at me for not being a bigger help in this matter.

i've done all i can think of to ease the situation. i've stopped "ribbing" him like older brothers do, i've gone along with his plans instead of mine, etc. but now i'm starting to get angry at him. he cries at the slightest thing, and has a very low pain tolerancy, emotional or otherwise. (he was in tears of agony when he had slightly chapped lips).

i need help to help my brother. i'm three years older than him. he's seeing a therapist, has been for a month or two (i'm not sure which), and there's no improvement.

help, please?

Well, first of all, I'm not a professional...so take this for what it's worth.

It sounds like your brother (you didn't say his age) may be going through puberty as well as a self esteem problem. It sounds like he thinks very little of himself and needs to be reassured that he's worth something to someone, and in his case, to anyone. This could be dangerous, especially as he gets older. He could resort to hanging out with the wrong crowd or turn to drugs to give him the feelings that he's looking for. If he's seeing a therapist and it's not working, encourage your mom to try another. There are really good ones out there that can help. However, if your brother doesn't 'want' to be helped, that could pose a problem in therapy. It's hard to help someone that doesn't want any help or think they don't need it.
I'm going to give you a link that will help. I give it a lot in the teen forum. I hope that you'll check it out. They have live advisors there and lots of forums that can and will help your brother. Give it a shot, you don't have to tell them who you are, and if it helps in any way, it's worth the trip, right? Good luck and keep us posted. Growing up is the hardest thing in the world to do.

http://www.girlsandboystown.org

I think puppy has a good idea that he thinks little of himself but I don't think he feels people think he's worthless. I think he feels some kind of a connection with Derek and wants to make sure Derek won't start not liking him or seem disappointed(you said it in terms of him wanting popularity and being cool, I just think those terms are overused).

I really don't think he'd lead into a wrong group or start drugs though. Derek isn't necessarily a wrong friend, he's just not a good friend(at least if he's truly mean and not just pushy).

I don't think it's puberty either because I've never heard anybody act like this. Maybe your brother just gets mad easily and just lets his emotions out when he wants (but won't do that with Derek because he likes Derek and doesn't want to possibly get him mad).

At my school, kids are always asking their friends if they have money. Your brother probably has a problem of saying no. Could Dereks' insults supposed to be in fun or could your brother be annoying to Derek? Your brother might also be an easy target and fun to play around with.

Oh and a tip for puppy, in his profile, Runic says he was born in 85 and he said his brother was 3 years younger.

Good luck.

a tip for jusork, never put your real birthdate in your profile.

i had a lil chat with my mom, and that *coughQUACKcough* therapist says he has mild depression. she also said that it runs through the family, and that she and her father both had it. however, me and my littlest brother have a very high pain tolerancy. my littlest cries at nearly nothing, except for hydrogen peroxide in his wounds.

also, last note, puberty this is not. my brother is in *cough5THcough* grade.

excuse my cold.

LOL hope you get to feeling better!

Don't discount the puberity part. Kids are going through it at such young ages these days. Girls (some as young as five years old) are having their periods and going through it. It's scary, and since I don't know your brother, it was just a thought.
It very much sounds like depression, like the *coughQUACKcough* (must have the same thing as you ) said. If that's the case, maybe a mild anti-depressant is available for him?

Whatever the case may be, I hope that you'll check out the link I provided in the earlier post.

Is there a way you can start your brother in an interesting activity that he alone is doing.. something that can strengthen his self-perception of himself... increase his self-esteem by being successful at something.

I had very similar depression and self-esteem issues (I still do really) and became a loner (I still am really ;() too. I became good at drawing and it felt good because it was something I could do and SEE that I was good at.

Have you tried getting him involved in BIg Brother kinds of programs? He needs to get involved with something that is separate from the kids in school.. something to provide an outside source of self-esteem.

Is he over-weight? Is he a computer/tv junkie? Maybe this summer you can focus on getting him very physically active in basketball and other sports so that he can trim up and feel good about becoming fit.

Just some suggestions.

i do believe i've posted the most in my own topic. this, i feel, is sad...

overweight? no. tv/computer junkie? yes.

the thing is, i've tried to get him into something that is unique and something just for him, or maybe something just for me and him (derek has an older brother also, and the older brother skates; i do not). kevin feels that a) he's not good at anything except skating and b) there really isn't anything interesting left to do. his motivational skills and work ethics
& drive are horrible. i end up cleaning most of his messes.

he also doesn't respond well to authority. for example, my parents bought a special lock for plugs, and they locked up the tv and computer. recently, my brother took a hammer and effectively smashed open both locks. this is why i am able to post now. hmmmm, a mixed blessing...

yes, i know, this is my topic, and you all should be replying more than i, but i just want all the facts to be said and made clear...

hi-ho, hoover, away!!!

Threads are for whoever posts in them.. doesn't have to be only responders... take a look.. many people who post threads have as many comments in them as the answerers.....