I knew they would come. I'm starting to miss my husband. I won't take him back, but sometimes I miss him like crazy. I cry a lot and today is just a really bad one. I want to call him, go see him. I know that I can't and I will keep myself busy so that I won't, but will this feeling EVER go away? PB

Is there some reason why you can't call or see him? I guess I've missed some of the backgound you may have shared to others....

As for the feeling going away I'm sure you already know that it will...with time. But then when you least expect it something will pop up to remind you of him and the floodgates will open wide again. But each time this happens they open a little less.

The only thing to do in the meantime is to not wallow in pity but instead get back into those things you once loved to do before he came into the picture. For example, I'm flying solo right now so I've gotten back into my passion for painting. And also find a good friend who will be supportive and a shoulder to cry on when need be.

Hang in there!

I think you will always have a speical place in your heart for your husband no matter what. You will always love him and miss him, but with time you can move on. Of course its no easy task and thats why its very important to surround yourself with people who love you, for instance Megan.

And you know I am always here for ya anytime you need to talk. Take care of yourself and dont stop smiling

Puppy,
I know you miss him.. of course you do.. there WERE some great times or else you wouldn't have married him to start with. But in an abusive situation, you need to think of the whole picture. Is he good for you over-all. There are many people you will get to know who can make other great memories with.. one day it may even be a man you will eventually call "husband"..one day.

It is perfectly normal to miss your husband... just keep in perspective what your over all needs are. Meanwhile, develop some friendships and get involved with activities and your kids to help you get over him and the fact you are missing him.

Stay strong.. these feelings are one reason many women (and men) return to abusive relationships. If you need to talk you can come to me, you can e-mail me at:
sherasi@answerpool.com

Sherasi

Thank you guys and Georgia85, go to the post Member In Need Of Immidiate Help. That was me that King posted for.

Poor Pup's, you can't stop loving someone or missing them, but with time it will get better. Please don't go back you deserve to be treated better. If you need a friend please e-mail me! Good luck sweetie.

Puppy -- I feel for you. Please know that what you're feeling is natural. You spent so much time with this man in you're life; it will take time for you to feel normal without him in your life. Please be strong, not only for yourself, but for your daughter's sake. She will learn from you and if you accept abuse in your life, it will only cause more heartache for you and your daughter. She loves you and wants you safe. I know you're strong -- admitting that you're feeling weak is a sign of strength. Asking for support is a sign of strength. Please think of your long term happiness and that of your daughter. The struggle to regain your identity and rebuild your life on your own is often lonely and frightening. I promise you that if you can hold onto your strength, you will get through this time. As things start to improve and your confidence becomes stronger, you'll reflect back on this time in your life and will be so fulfilled in knowing that your strength and courage pulled you through. I hope you have friends and/or family to lean on through this time. Maybe there is a support group near you for women who are struggling with similar issues. Spend your energy trying to find a support group, talking to your friends and family. I don't know if you are active with a local community church, but if you are, they are there to help through this time as well. I hope you find a little comfort in knowing that there are people here who are concerned for you, and want you to be safe and happy. Don't give in to fear or loneliness Puppy, it will only bring you regret. I'm including you in my prayers.

quote:

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Originally posted by puppyblues:
That was me that King posted for.

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Oh!!! Yes, I remember that post and I responded too it! I am so happy that you have removed yourself from such a situation. Now half the battle is won. Keep the faith and be strong!

I was once in an "emotionally" abusive relationship, which for me, is totally out of my norm...I'm a very strong person, and for someone to dominate ME is normally unheard of.

I don't recall all of the details of the KK post "Immediate Help", but I'll tell you...in time, (and PLEASE give it time!), you'll come to realize that you are a better person without the stress and abuse, whether physical or emotional.

It takes time to get over someone you've spent a length of time with...The big decision is to NOT get back into it...you'll be better off, although, as I said, it'll take time!

Don't hesitate to email if you need to!

Best, Giz

Yes, it will pass, in time. I think it is kind of like the Patty Hearst thing, becoming dependant upon her abductors. It seems your husband held you hostage, emotionally at least, and after a while that is all you know. Or when some one who is ill for many years and you have taken care of them all that time, then they die and you feel lost, unsure what to do next. I didn't re-read the threads, so I don't remember if you are seeking counseling, but that might be a good idea. And of course, we are all here for you.

All I can say is it gets better. You say that you miss him. What you probably miss is the way things used to be. Not they way things were which caused you to leave. Your mind is remembering the good times. You are mourning your relationship right now. Things will get better, it just takes time. If you ever want to talk you can email me.
I'll listen.

quote:

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Originally posted by clarebear:
What you probably miss is the way things used to be. You are mourning your relationship right now. If you ever want to talk you can email me.
I'll listen.

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Truer words have never been spoken. If I could just piggyback off of Puppyblues message I'm going through a similiar situation and it seems like you have been through it too. I wouldn't mind a fresh persective on it - but can't find your e-mail on your profile...

Ohh, puppy, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know this must be so painful right now. You need time to digest all that's happened to you and you can't expect to recover overnight. You're still in crisis and barely out of the woods with this. But you are going to have to start making decisions about your life, and how you are going to move on without him. You have to forget about him. I know you have a lot to think about. Take some time to think really hard about what kind of life you really want for you and Megan. It may feel like the end of the world right now, but every day gets a little easier. One day you will fully move on. Don't look back, look forward. This is your chance to live a good and happy life.

First of all I want to congratulate you for your courage. Good for you and your daughter.
Second, I want to wish you all the strength you may find. It's not easy to finish such a traumatic experience, you cannot expect yourself to feel good at all times. But time heals.
Of course, I will advise therapy for you and your daughter, to help you surpass all those obstacles you may find in a healthier way.
I hope this helps and if you ever need help or support, please don't hesitate to write to my e mail.
Lucia

Thank you for your post and encourging words. That post was made sometime back, but the feelings are still there.
I'm at a point now where I don't think I can live without him. He is in a treatment center and is working on himself. I hope that it does work for him.
As I have said before, I'm not in love with him anymore, at least I don't think I am, but he's always been in my life. How can I see a future without him.
I have my good days and bad, I suppose that's normal. This has been a bad week. His letters seem so sincere, and I know he loves me, but what the future holds for us, I have no idea.
Thanks to all of you who have helped me through the most difficult time I've ever had in my life.
I don't know what I'd have done without your support. Puppy