Nymphomania (check me on this, but I think it's the obsession and constant need of sex) is a mystery to me.
CAn you explain to me how this happens and what the symptoms are? Also, are there any treatments? How many people in the US have it?
Sorry for the many questions, but I don't really know anything about nymphomania...
-Dan ****************************************************************** 02-11-03, 10:41 PM Sherasi "Despite what you may have heard about "Nymphomania", the term is not a valid diagnosis of a condition. The term is used to describe a perceived “above normal” level of sex drive in women. However, there exists no scale to calculate what is “normal”.
Many believe that the word has developed as slang by men to degrade women with a high sex drive. Many men are very self-conscious about their own sex drive, and the thought of a woman having a "better" drive is threatening.
The correct terminology for a perceived excessively high sex drive might include: hyper sexuality, sexual addiction, and sexual compulsivity. "
Nymphomania is a laypersons term used to label a woman whose sex drive or sexual activity is subjectively deemed too high. This is not a scientifically meaningful term because there are no specific criteria defining how much sexual desire or activity is too much. The clinical conditions that include the concept of high levels of sexual desire and/or activity are hyper- sexuality and sexual addiction or compulsivity. The central features of these disorders are that sexual activity is an insatiable need, often interfering with other areas of everyday functioning; sex is impersonal, with no emotional intimacy; and despite frequent orgasms, sexual activity is generally not satisfying.
Most of the time, this "disorder" is actually less a physical issue and more of an emotional or psychological issue. Self-punishment, anger at self or men, are all influences in spawning a sexual dysfunction.
"Most sexual addicts are difficult to get to treatment because they do not consider themselves sick at all. Usual response of addicts is one of denial. They do not agree that they are addicted. They try to justify their actions. For example an addict caught molesting a girl may say that she was dressed in such a way that she invited this action. In addition to denial and justification they often rationalise their actions and also generalise by saying that everyone does or wants to do what they do. Very few of them come for treatment unless they are arrested for some sexual crime. In genuine cases of sexual addiction treatment involves behavior modification techniques along with drugs such as prozac have been tried. The condition is difficult to treat but some addicts may learn to control their impulses to some extent. Support groups like Sexoholics anonymous may also be of help."
02-14-03, 10:16 AM Wildflower63 Something I think is a little funny about nymphomania. Has a man ever been one? No, it's considered normal for them. A woman with a high sex drive has a negative connotation to it. There is even a label that makes women sound psychologically unfit.
02-14-03, 10:40 AM Shawn
quote:Originally posted by Wildflower63: Something I think is a little funny about nymphomania. Has a man ever been one? No, it's considered normal for them. A woman with a high sex drive has a negative connotation to it. There is even a label that makes women sound psychologically unfit.
That is why between men and women there is always a "double standard". Men are supposed to be more active to be normal- where women are supposed to be "fridged" in that area like we are supposed to act as if it is a chore we hate to do.
And that men are supposed to be experienced before marriage to be a man, but all women are supposed to be virgins until marriage (then who are men getting experience with?)
And WHY is it that men reach their peaks at around 18 and women peak in their pre to menopausal years?
I am far from a nympho but also not fridged- I just like it to be relaxed and not feel presured to "perform" on a regular basis (is that wrong?). When I have no worries is when I seem to want sex more.
I heard something on the radio that explained the different feelings towards sex that really sounded true- Women need to feel/be shown loved by other methods in order to feel like having sex- where as men think of sex as "showing love".
02-14-03, 11:48 AM cattywampus I think that most men see sex more as recreation, at least at first. A typical comment is "That was fun." That's like a slap in the face to a woman, as it removes her totally from the equation. Something you might say to an inflatable doll.
In my experience, many men dream about meeting a "nympho" but if they do, they are more likely to be frightened off than anything. Men worry about their ability to perform with a "normal" partner.
catty Smile
02-14-03, 12:50 PM babthrower The term for the condition in males was satyriasis.
You are a victim of the disorder if your behavior is causing problems to you or to others.
Avoid the social definition, which is based on what a certain group of people think is 'normal'.
A funny but true story:
The feminist and birth-control advocate Margaret Sanger was asked by her granddaughter (then a young woman) how often people should have sex. Margaret answered, 'three times a day is about right'.
This got around. Some birth-control opponents got wind of it. From the pulpits across North America rang the horrified cries of ministers and priests frothing at the mouth with outrage! "What kind of a woman...!!!!!" Of course they were secretly delighted, because they thought this revelation would totally discredit Margaret and the family planning movement.
So in their eyes, Margaret was a nymphomaniac. But it didn't seem to cause Margaret any problems. What got her into trouble were her political views.
02-15-03, 05:56 PM Wildflower63 You are completely correct Bab. I think the word nympho is very over used and inaccurate to a true disorder. It's because we are women.
02-16-03, 03:41 PM Ewood27 ".... and then she said I was a lousy lover. Now I ask you, how can a woman make a value judgement like that in only two minutes?"
02-26-03, 10:08 AM Elexina Nymphomania is just a fancy way of saying 'envy.' Incidentally, there's nothing wrong with sex being recreational, as long as it's got emotion, too. My husband and I have a lot of 'fun' with sex. I've always had fun with sex. Weee!
02-26-03, 06:38 PM Wildflower63 Elex, that one got a laugh out of me!! Hmmm, are normal women with a normal sex drive really nymphos? I guess if we were even more normal, we would be frigid.
03-07-03, 05:43 AM SeattleRon nymphomania is a natural thing. its pretty cool......
03-07-03, 03:42 PM cattywampus Lest any forget, let us repeat: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NYMPHOMANIA!
And for Elexina: I contend that "recreational sex" is devoid of emotion, that's what makes it "recreational."
Catty Cool
03-10-03, 06:02 AM Elexina Catty, I respectfully disagree.
03-10-03, 08:16 AM Shawn I also disagree, there are people who have such an addiction to sex that they are troubled by it and seek counseling to control it.
Men it as seen as normal and if women do it then it is seen a being a slut or whore etc. But just having a high sex drive with your one and only I wouldn't consider a 'nympho".
Just because something is recreational does not mean void of emotion, but could mean "with disregard". As in recreational drugs etc.
03-10-03, 06:47 PM southern_belle I guess to use the term "Recreational sex" when referring to ones spouse or monogamous partner isn’t such a bad thing. if it is used to describe your sex life with others casual or not would mean something else. If you have a high sex drive and it is with the ONE you love there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. having a high sex drive and having many partners (male or female in this case)is not being a Nympho, to me it means that person has issues they need help with and this is the only way they can feel accepted or possibly loved. What I cant understand is people use a high sex drive as an excuse sometimes to "stray' from their partner. I know this has gotten off topic but it kind of struck a nerve by reminding me of a neighbor of mine who is "Active" if you know what I mean. Her Husband has no idea and her husband makes jokes all the time about how he has married a "Nympho" and that he might have to hire someone to stand in for him from time to time. I guess I'm old fashioned in believing when married you are to be with the one you married and only that one till death do you part, but now days it seems to be in to be having an affair or 2. Sorry for the rant on this and in no way was I saying what any of you said was wrong or right I was just really venting my feelings on this. (and a bit more Smile..)
03-10-03, 07:42 PM Sherasi Belle, In my PERSONAL opinion.. I agree.. sexual activity should be limited to a monogomous partner (spouse, etc).
The question I have to ask though is this, suppose a person gets married to a person who he/she has every expectation to remaining faithful to. Then, their spouse stops wanting sex.. almost totally(I've had many friends and patients complain of this). What is their alternative?
They love their spouse.. they also have a healthy ACTIVE sex drive.. what can they do? Therapy hasn't worked, the spouse simply likes things the way they are and doesn't want to bother with sex.
What do you guys think? 03-17-03, 10:19 AM
Elexina
quote:Originally posted by southern_belle: having a high sex drive and having many partners (male or female in this case)is not being a Nympho, to me it means that person has issues they need help with and this is the only way they can feel accepted or possibly loved.
Or it could just be that they like having sex. "Issues" may or may not have anything to do with it. It is likely that this person needs no help at all, that he or she simply likes sex.
As for using a high sex drive as an excuse to stray, No. That is pathetic and despicable. If you are in a committed relationship, you have to respect the feelings, beliefs and attitudes of the other person, as well as the sex drive of the other person. If one has a high sex drive, the other has to understand that and give when they can -but not at their own expense. The high-sex-drive person must also understand that he (or she) may just have to deal with not getting it whenever he (or she) wants it.
Sherasi brings up a very interesting point and a very complicated one. Sex is not what makes a relationship, but it can be important -especially if a relationship starts out with a normal healthy sex life and then all of a sudden one of them doesn't want sex at all anymore. I think the no-sex spouse might want to consider looking into this sudden lack of interest. It may be an emotional issue or a sexual dysfunction he or she is unaware of. The yes-sex spouse needs to be compassionate and understanding. I mean, we all have days where we just do not want to do it. However, they must sit down and talk this out. Not wanting to have sex all of a sudden signals a problem, maybe a symptom that something else is wrong in the relationship. If everything seems fine otherwise, then they definitely need to talk about how to please both of them. The no-sex partner is perfectly happy without sex, but the yes-sex partner feels something important is missing, the couple needs to figure out what to do about this. Maybe pornography and masturbation is one way to go, but if the yes-spouse really feels that he or she MUST have real actual sex with a real actual person, this needs to be discussed with the no-spouse. Personally, in a case like this, as long as both partners agree and are understanding, I think it would be appropriate for the yes-sex partner to find pleasure elsewhere. ...But I'm not even going to get into all the troubles THAT could start...
03-19-03, 01:37 AM CatWoman Nymphomania I always thought of nympho as a guy term for women they sexually can't keep up with. How else can a guy explain that and keep is ego intact?
03-19-03, 07:51 AM Elexina Actually, CatWoman, that observation is probably correct a lot of the time. Big Grin
04-03-03, 10:43 PM Sherasi Honestly, I do believe there is a valid clinical illness called "Nymphomania". In this case, I think that sex is the manifestation of an emotional illness... an expression of self-abuse or man-hating of that emotional illness. They are not satisfied by the sex, it isn't pleasurable at all.. how can you have pleasure by something you are driven to do.
I agree that the term is misused by disgruntled men and women though.
04-07-03, 06:27 PM Runic StormCrow now, what about people who are "addicted" to porn?...
i'm not one of these people, i'm just wondering about people's viewpoint on this.
04-08-03, 01:26 AM Sherasi I think that there is a similarity in addictions to porn and gambling and alcohol. Often people will know it is bad for them but they can't stop.
Marriages have ended over addictions like this, including porn... as well as over "Nymphomania" as well, too.
04-08-03, 09:23 AM Elexina What Sherasi said. Nymphomania is a real thing, and is defined as "abnormal or excessive sexual desire in a female" (I suppose because it is 'normal' for a male to have excessive sexual desire -but I am sure men do fall into this diagnosis as well). It is a real medical condition. However, most of the people who use the phrase are using it wrong -either purposefully to insult someone or out of ignorance, but usually for the same reason.
Porn, I think, is a whole different topic all together but I will say this: sure, there can be people who are genuinely addicted to porn just as people are genuinely addicted to drugs or gambling. And then there are people who just like to look at it.
04-08-03, 01:52 PM frankvan Elexina says: :Personally, in a case like this, as long as both partners agree and are understanding, I think it would be appropriate for the yes-sex partner to find pleasure elsewhere. ...But I'm not even going to get into all the troubles THAT could start...Personally, in a case like this, as long as both partners agree and are understanding, I think it would be appropriate for the yes-sex partner to find pleasure elsewhere. _______________________________________________________________That could even get the yes-sex partner impeached! Smile 04-09-03, 06:35 AM Elexina Heh. No kidding.
04-10-03, 06:48 PM one2trust/jittabuggrl a nymphomaniac is a person ( guy or girl ) who is addicted to sex.
04-11-03, 08:27 AM Elexina Actually, one2trust, according to the dictionary, "nymphomania" is only for women.
To add to Sherasi's initial post, the American Psychiatric Association did initially include "nymphomania" as a disorder in their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1951, but changed the term to "psychosexual disorder" in the DSM III in 1980. The DSM IIIR labeled it a "sexual addiction," but it was dropped altogether in DSM IV.
SexInfo101 tells us that, "The correct terminology for a perceived excessively high sex drive might include: hyper sexuality, sexual addiction, and sexual compulsivity."
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