Hi Everyone, I feel useless, last monday I tried to OD myself, and I was really angry when I woke up tuesday morn... all week was no picnic either, I called a number and they help with setting up therapy/counselling-after 90 mins on the phone, I get transfered to the counseller in my area, after work I went and had a therepy session, and she recc. I go to the crisis clinic, so I did, the crisis nurse ask if I was going to kill my self that night(fri) I said no, so I was free to go, he said the only way I can see a psyc. is to stay in the pysc. ward - NO - I also asked him why w/what i took it didnt work - he said i didnt take enough -the weekend was **** 4 me, I was really down, I didnt feel like myself, I had oxycont Sp??- i was calculated the doses - and i feel it would have been enough - my husband seen me with them, took what he thought was all - we had to go out,but on the way back he took the wrong cut off -to the hospital, I was really mad, I got out of the car-he stopped cause I guess he knew I didnt care-after a brief wrestling match with him- he kept trying to pull me in - I was freed, he called the police to try and find me -I found a store called a cab -came home- anyway- the cops came here took me to the hospital- they had too, its there job, so i 'voluntarily' went so i wouldnt be arrested- HOWEVER- i got to speak to the same crisis nurse- he asked the same question, I said no, so i got to go. I went to the clinic the following day -monday- the doc. perscribed me paxil, and sent me on my way .. I am so frustrated - I cant get any frikken help, unless I stay in the funny farm --today I see the counseller I met with fri. and shes as frustrated as me- i think b/c i was sent to go w/out help, or direction.
i dont know what the hell to do- i fell like a basket case, i always have a headache, i cry at the drop of a hat, im not myself at work, my heart beats so dam hard and fast --its awful-

What the heck can I do, to get help-
One minute Im "fine" then -bam -- I not me, and thats when I start getting a plan in action - and knowing i have no help- is just the all more reason
So what Im asking - has help ever been refused from anyone?
Thanx in advance

Kissten,

I think its great that you are seriously looking for help! I haven't been in the situation where I was refused help, but I have been depressed, and I have attempted to kill myself.

Please email me, my address is in my profile.

Kissten, welcome to Answerpool.

While I have no experience with psychiatric counselling from the medical profession, I do have experience with the inner struggle of good and evil. While you may not understand what is going on in your life, I read from your post that there is an inner struggle of good and evil. Are you going to let evil win? Your attempt to take your own life is certainly evil and your husband wanting to help you is certainly good.

Since you have seen a particular nurse twice and each time you have told her that you were OK, only to succomb once released, maybe it is time to ask assistance from The Healer of Men.


Jesus Heals the Sick

Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them. Matthew 4:23-24 NIV

The Prayer of Faith

Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. James 5:14-15 NIV

I'm not sure I understand your question. Can you rephrase it please?

Does anyone know of other avenues to go to to seek help without being admitted?
A few weeks ago, I posted, about really needing a friend, and I explained about my husband, and sons suicide attempts ... I just feel so overwhelmed right now, I have nothing to look forward to, I'm always waiting and expecting the worst, cause Im usually right -- and that sux.
Sorry --

Kissten,

Have you tried any other crisis lines? There may be other crisis nurses who would be more helpful.

Most of the people I know that have been in similar situations did fare much better by having a short inpatient stay. I know that isn't something that you want to do, but it is the most helpful. It gets you away from your surroundings which are obviously stressful. The inpatient units aren't actually the way most people picture them (funny farm) they are actually just usually like regular hospitals, but with more rules.

In my prayers
Shel

You're crying for help...they're offering help by admitting you. You're admitting that you need the help, so why don't you just do it???

Perhaps that sounds a little direct, but it appears that is to be your best option rather than continuing to feel the way you do and not know where to turn...

I agree with Lydia. If you are expecting help to come in the form of a magic little pill, or in the form of a one time counseling session, you won't find it. Your situation screams of danger and emotional instability which warrants a hospital stay where you can be monitored and get the counseling and care you need. You can make the conscious decision to do this yourself, admit you need help, and voluntarily check yourself in....or you can wait for your husband or other family member to have you "committed" for your own safety. I don't know what the laws are in Canada but in the states it is totally possible to have someone forcibly send you to a psychiatric hospital.

So the choice is yours. I hope you decide to get help. I know how it feels to be to the point where you wish you wouldn't wake up in the morning. But an overdose is not the way to go. More often than not, you end up vomiting and with a splitting head-ache.

Shel, that is absolutely true. The units are totally like a regular hospital with more rules. I am sure that during your nursing rotation, as I did, you saw these special safe units. There is no stigma attached to using the help they provide.

At this time, the nurses and you know you need help, you obviously need more help than you can get in the community. Why not take that step and get that help? There is no magic pill that cures you of all ills. The intense counceling and therapy you would get along with the meds will help you manage.

(((((((((Kissten)))))))))) tons of hugs honey. I feel so bad for you. I wish there was a magic pill or 'one therapy' session that would help, but there's not.

Please read and re-read NC's post. That helps a lot. And read and re-read what Lydia and Georgia said. You need help. There is no cause for embarrassment to be in a hospital for awhile. If you can get the help you need there, just think....in a few months...you could be well on your way to a whole new life and recovery.

Most of all, know that you can't change your husband. He has to change himself and he has to change for himself. You can't do it for him and he can't do it for you.

Please get the help you need. We are all here rooting for you. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts as you take this journey through life. Also, although it may just be virtually, I'll hold your hand through the entire process.

It sounds like you should be admitted full time. I don't understand why you wouldn't do this... if you had a heart condition you would allow the doctors to help you, but because this is depression you are going to refuse to be treated?

Please go and let other people try to help. You do not sound like it is a good time to be shopping around for the correct treatment. I realize that you think of it as the "funny farm" but it could save your life and make your life worth living... there's nothing funny about that.

Kissten, you've gotten so much good advice that there's not much I can add, but as you seek help for yourself, you are also helping the people that loves you. When you hurt, your family hurt too. I hope you'll decide to be admitted so you can get the help you need. Life is rough sometimes, but pulling through rough times make us stronger. Don't give up, and one day you'll look back and say thank God, I made it through the struggle. Anytime you want to rant, we're here to listen. You are not helpless-useless-worthless...you're human.

I don't know how you feel about music, but I relate most of my life around it. It brings meaning into about every aspect of my life. I posted this at Herport for some friends, now I'm posting it for you. Please read the words and if you like it, watch the video on MTV or VH1.

The words are great and the music is better. Check it out.

Hold On by Good Charlotte

This world, this world is cold
But you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they're way too long
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)
And you're not sure what you're looking for
But you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to no more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over...

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on

It does get better, Kissten.

Thank you for all your warm thoughts, I feel inpatient would be the best route for me some days -- and the reason I dont want to is simply b/c last year when my husband was there, after his crack overdose - suicide attempt - he was there for a month -- Most nurses, and doc. on that ward, would remember me, I was always being applauded -- for lack of a beter word, for being so strong, supportive, and now im weak and needy -- Im the one who found him in the bedroom, I thought he was dead, the hosp. was very surprised he made it, he had taken alot of crack, and meds .. And -- plus when my son tried to end his life (11) he was also in the same hospital, different floor - however - and plus it was both of us who walk in on him .. its too much to handle -- I hate being called the strong one, cause when you weaken, then what? What the heck am I now? O yeah -- So I guess for my own selfish pride, I dont want to be in that perticular, hospital. I think if I were to explain that to another hospital, they just wouldn't understand, So there ya have it.
Canada sucks, as far as getting help goes, the system is messed up, even still with suicide rates rising -- Its frustrating. O well,
Again everyone, thanks, and you've givin me alot to think about and digest ...
OHH NOO more thinking

As a nurse myself, I can tell you unequivically that no nurse or doctor will think less of you for not always being the strong one. We all have our strong moments and our weak moments. I have seen many of my patients in the community when I have seen them at their worst and I am simply happy that they were able to get past the problem and move forward in their life. Do not let pride be the reason you do not seek help.. I assure you no nurse or doctor will bat an eyelash when you go to seek help.. except to feel the compassion that all professionals feel for their patients.

Kissten: I would expect that if the staff remembers you and what you have had to go through previously, they will be even more sympathetic because of the extreme stress that has caused this breakdown. I don't think that any of us would be able to hold up forever under such conditions.

Keep in mind the stress and emotional pain that all this family turmoil is causing your 11 year old son. You are not useless or worthless to him. You and his father are the most important people to him right now. No one can ever take your place in his life. You have an obligation to pull through this for his sake.

We are all praying for you and your family. May God grant you the peace of mind that you need and lead you to the right people to help you.

DD

[This message was edited by doñadiana on 12-12-03 at 07:46 AM.]

Oh Kissten! My heart just breaks for you, honey! You don't have to be 'the strong one'. Nobody put that label on you but yourself.

We are all human, and that means, by it's very nature, that we are frail! You need help, and you need it now. There is no shame in that!

Please do what you already know needs to be done. Get help. The way you know you need it (Inpatient). The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to start healing and you will feel better about yourself.

There are all kinds of illness that causes us pain. Some of it we can see -- like a broken arm, or mumps. Some of it we can't see -- like the pain you are feeling. You need to let yourself get help from a doctor, the same way you would get help for a broken arm or the mumps.

I will be praying for you. Take care of yourself! You are the only person that can do that for you.

Don't worry about what the doctors and nurses will think... let them help you.

The strongest thing you can do in this situation is go and get the help you need. That takes courage and strength! Please do it.

I completely agree with what aminator said...it actually takes more strength to accept help.

you can do this