Lately, the life-stress has been horrible. One major bang after another...and I've been dealing with it pretty well except for one thing.
For the past few weeks, almost everyday I come home to something that upsets me terribly. An electric bill 4x what I normally pay, my favorites plants, ripped off their stands and chewed up by a dog, my cat being hurt...individually, these things would not have normally phased me...but on top of everything else, it's really getting to me. I get home in the hope of finally being able to relax only to face something upsetting.
The problem that occurs is this.
When I face the problem, of course I immediatly try to rectify it...cleaning up my bloody cat, trying to salvage what I can of the plants, calling the power company to complain...but while I'm doing these things I start to suffer horrible cramps in my lower legs and back. AWFUL cramps. I can't even stand up. Because I have recently over come a knee injury, I thought they might have been related...but I've been without pain in my knee for over a week now...and the cramps are getting worse.
Right now I am in a situation where I have to face something which is extremely difficult for me every day. If you're curious you can read the story and even view the pictures at this link:
Basically, when I get home everyday I have to clean my cat's infected wound, clean up a room COVERED in blood, and administer medicine to her.
I don't deal with blood very well. I almost fainted when I saw my 4th god child being born...
But I have to do it...no one else can...
The problem is...I may be doing this for weeks...but I'm inhibited by the cramps...
I go in the room and try to start cleaning things up and I have to leave and go lay down for a few minutes until the waves of agony in my legs subside.
Anything but drugs. I refuse to take drugs for physical symptoms caused by an emotional source. I refuse dependancy. I have to be able to handle these times without a chemical crutch.
Please...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Posts: 1015 | Location: Atlanta, GA USA | Registered: 06-04-02
Kat, the link doesn't work, but if you want to talk about it and get a bit of advice from a nurse, just click on my name and e-mail me. I am pretty good at trouble shooting.. and I do ALOT of teaching patients and wound care. I might be able to help. Give me a try and we will see what we can do.
Posts: 9065 | Location: PA, USA | Registered: 06-05-02
Katayna, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Given the fact that you do not deal with blood well, I'm guessing that what you are going through with your cat is only making every other situation worse.
I posted what I thought in the cat forum post you mentioned here - I think that if you can get this part under control, the rest may not be nearly as difficult to deal with.
If you're looking for something to help calm you a bit - without drugs - I'd like to suggest you go to a health food store and pick up something called "Rescue Remedy" by Bach - - it is a combination of flower essences - just a few drops on the tongue would be good and calm your nerves. As an added bonus - you may also apply a drop or two directly to your cat as well.
Alot of people would tell you that the flower essences are a "load of crap" - but I've taken it in situations where I get anxious (flying.....gets me every time) and it really worked. Even my brother who is so skeptical was shocked when he used it a couple of times.....he couldn't believe it worked. Flower essences can be used on humans and animals - this would help to calm your cat a bit too.
I know that this info doesn't solve your problems, but it could help. Also - check my reply to your post in the cats forum.
Like Sher, if you wish to email me, my email address is in my profile - feel free. I have many years of experience with cats and am always willing to do what I can for a fellow animal lover!!!
I understand what you're saying and how you feel. Whenever serious challenges come, one after another, that is my most difficult and painful time.
This string of challenges will end, Kat. In the meantime, whatever works, I say go for it.
Louise L. Hay wrote a book called "Heal Your Body". In it, she relates conditions to states of being. She lists the condition, the state of being, and then gives an affirmation for each. Here's what she says about each condition you mentioned:
"Back: Represents the support of life. Affirmation: I know that life always supports me.
"Cramps: Tension. Fear. Gripping, holding on. Affirmation: I relax and allow my mind to be peaceful."
"Legs: Carry us forward in life. Affirmation: Life is for me."
"Leg Problems: Fear of the future. Not wanting to move. Affirmation: I move forward with confidence and joy, knowing that all is well in my future."
This is not gospel, Kat. So, take what you say applies to you (if anything) and leave the rest, ok? Hope this helps some.
After seeing the pics on your cat post, I can easily see how upsetting this must be. I have a strong stomach and would be pretty shocked to walk into that much blood every day.
First, take a deep breath. This can't go on forever. Keep telling yourself that the cat is going to get better. The puppy will slow with the antics in time. I think you are only doing what you have to by putting the cat in the bathroom for the time. Maybe you could confine the dog to the kitchen with a baby gate with a lot of toys so he can't get into plants and disrupt things so easily.
Is there ANYONE that could help you out so that you don't walk into this every day? I'm thinking maybe a good friend, relative, or maybe pay someone to clean up before you get home so that you can actually relax a bit for a change after you get home from work. If there is anyone that you trust with your cat, would you be able to pay or trade favors with to care for her until this wound is more healed so that you only have to deal with one pet at a time? This has to be rough for one person to deal with. It sounds like you need some physical help with your pets for the time to give you a much needed break.
I recall that you were tired during the summer. I assume that the same is true now. So what you need to do is to find ways of restoring your energy: you cannot put yourself on automatic pilot.
Contemplating getting energetic one step at a time, just sit down and do nothing. This means that you must try to clear your head. It could prove helpful to make a list of challenges down the left side of a sheet of paper and a list of the first step to solving some of those challenges right away down the right side of the sheet of paper. On the second day, take time out to examine what first steps you managed to accomplish, cross them out, and write the second steps, then adding new first steps if necessary. On the third day, make more first steps second steps and more second steps third steps, again adding new first steps if still necessary. Some things will disappear from the challenge list. You may have to continue this method for several weeks or months. Your reward will be in knowing that God is giving you the strength which you entrusted Him to hold until these times of trouble when He said that He would be an ever present help. Some days you may not be able to make any progress but will instead rest your body and brain for a greater effort the day after. This method works for solving many challenges. Notice that I do not use the word "problems," because the battle is the Lord's battle.
"Overwhelmed" means buried or drowned. That's what your problems are doing right now. You're a sensitive person, and so the cat and the injury to her tail is distressful to you because you hate the sight of blood and because you understand her pain.
Your mind is telling your body that you're in crisis. Your body believes it. You have become hyper-sensitized to physical stress, and every physical reaction is interpreted as pain.
First of all you need to realistically assess your responsibilities. Can you cope with the problems or not?
If not, you have to get help. Put your cat in day care at the vet's. Give your plants away. Whatever you need to do.
If you can cope, plan your coping strategy. Before you arrive home, decide which problem you will tackle first. If nothing is urgent, then have a nice hot bath, a cup of tea, music playing, whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Then decide what you will do next. Eat something simple. Feed your pets. Comfort them. In so doing you will comfort yourself.
Deal with your problems one at a time. Do the most stressful one first: dress the cat's injury. Then take another relaxing break. This might be doing the dishes. Don't rush, and don't obsess about cleaning the entire kitchen. Simple tasks can be comforting, if done calmly.
You're strung so tightly now that you're worrying about everything - there's no need to worry about having to take drugs yet. It may never come to that.
Sounds as if you may be having money troubles, or about to have them, since the size of that bill alarms you. Most people would just pay it, then sit down and compose a well-documented letter and send it off, and wait for the response. Remember that you can pay part of a debt if you can't manage all of it. Creditors are slow to cut services to someone who is communicating with them and making an effort, so you're probably not in crisis over money matters yet.
And when you're drafting the letter to the electricity company, do so while sitting in a relaxing chair, feet up on a footstool, writing on a pad on your lap; not tensely hunched over at your desk.
You can tell your body that you are not in crisis. You can soothe and comfort yourself, just as you comfort your pets. When you are relaxing, massage your legs.
In times of stress I have found it helpful to avoid talking to friends about my problems. This seems contrary to popular wisdom, I know, but talking about the problems with others (1) wastes time and (2) keeps the problems in your mind, which incidentally is telling your body that you're in Big Trouble. It prolongs and enhances the stress.
I don't mean don't ask for advice. I mean avoid simply recounting your troubles to friends.
Don't undertake any further responsibilities of any kind whatsoever until you feel better able to cope.
Footnote about the cat: Trust me on this, your cat can deal just fine with her injured tail. Cats are remarkably tough and pain-tolerant. What may be bothering her more is that she senses your acute anxiety, and thinks that things are much more threatening than they actually are. As you relax, so will she. Pets are sensitive to human emotions.
Posts: 6253 | Location: British Columbia, Canada | Registered: 06-11-02
