Babs thank you so much for the updates and especially the pictures. Ern really did look like a remarkably happy man in that picture, and I smiled through misty eyes when I saw the kitten picture. Getting that kitten was an outstanding idea, animals are wonderful therapy.

My thoughts are with you daily...take care ((((babs))))

Steffie and I think the guy with the wine glass is really Burl Ives! At any rate one of us prays and one of us cries a lot. On average, maybe it could help a little. Standby is a stroke of genius.

Highest marks for Answerpool! An outstanding source of answers. Can't beat this one!

Sherazi had given me her phone number in case I needed help. Well I don't have time to explain all the details now, but I did have a bit of a crisis last night and was afraid the medics would insist on taking Ern to hospital. And I had given him my word that I would do everything in my power to look after him at home.

The problem: he kept getting out of bed - not even the safety railings helped. So I eased him down onto the floor. The result would inevitably be a fall. I made him a nest of foamies on the floor. Then I spent four hours cleaning the whole floor area to suitable standards. (It LOOKED clean before, but...)

The problem was keeping him on the foamies. In spite of morphine he is very restless.

This morning I phoned Sher and she immediately asked:

- Do you have a sleeping bag?

So I'm about half way done now, preparing the area. The home care nurse arrives in 3 hours so gotta go!

THANK YOU SHERAZI AND SAGUS!!!

Okay it's 8:30 now and he has been set up on a thick futon right against a wall. After I got him rolled onto the open sleeping bag and zipped it up it dragged quite well to the new area. Because unlike the foamies it has a slippery nylon cover.

Then I was able to roll him onto the futon, still zipped up in the sleeping bag. I have pushed an upholstered armchair to his vulnerable side (not the wall side) so he is well padded. (This was another of Sher's suggestions.) So he's now comfortable, warm and safe.

He can't move 'up' (toward his head) or 'down' (toward his feet). He can only move from side to side.

He didn't like it much, all the fussing and pulling and dragging, but I don't think I had much choice. So now I will settle him down with morphine and wait for the nurse at 10: am.

I couldn't have done it without Sher's advice.

It was my pleasure to assist as you need it.

Let me know how the Nursing Visit goes.

Sher, your intelligent and sensitive input was appreciate more than you will ever know. But I have to tell you that Ernie died at home at about 1:10am. I found that this was so a very short time ago, when I did routine check, since he had had breathing problems.

So I have not the heart to post now. I know that many of you will wish me well, and I thank you for that. So if I don't respond, I do hope you will not be hurt. Just please understand that I cannot imagine what my life must now become, and so I need to retreat into a very private place and find out who I am.

My dear Babs,
I am so very sorry to read this. I am sitting here just stunned in front of my computer. While we all knew Ern was very sick, I don't think any of us realised that he had just a few days left.
I am so proud of you my dear friend. Ern's wish was to stay at home, and through your love and caring, you made that possible for him.
I feel honoured to know you, and through our friendship, to have got to know your wonderful, sweet husband. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Please just take good care of yourself, and we will be here when you are ready to talk again. dg

Babs, it is very kind of you to take time out of your grief to inform your many friends. Like dg and many of us, I got to know Ern through you, and it hurts to of his passing, but, again like dg, I know that Ern had a good life with a wonderful and loving mate. You let us in on that life, and it was obviously a rich one, full and interesting. Ern got to live his last months at home, comforted by the one person who mattered most to him. You two gave each other that life, and you provided Ern with that comfort. Now it is time for you to allow Ern to comfort you. Your memories of him and of your shared life will give you that comfort. Yes, there will be terrible days ahead for you, but you have those mental snapshots to comfort you, those thousands of vignettes to blanket you.

I once read that we only really die when the last person forgets that we lived. You, and through you, many of us, keep Ern alive, and will do so for a long time.

Oh, My Sweet Friend... I am so very sorry to hear that Ern is gone. You have my deepest sympathy and warmest thoughts.
Much love,
Shana

Babs, my deepest sympathy. This entire thread is suffused with a remarkable mixture of courage, tenderness, sensitivity, and respect for life. I am happy to have been just a small piece of your support system. Hang in there.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I don't know what brought me to this thread today but I am happy I came. I had the forture to witness such courage and strengh. Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey with us.

Memories...hold them dear.

My Dear babs,

I am usually terrible in expressing myself at times like these. It doesn´t help that I´m out of the country and haven´t spoken much English in a month. But please know that my thoughts are with you now and will continue to be. jr

Our deepest condolences to you and your family, dear friend. One thing we can be certain of: Ern's too short life had to have been interesting, never a dull moment. Thanks for sharing.

Dorothy,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only hope that my poor advice was a comfort to you and to Ern. I know that you were a wonderful helpmeet and he was comfortable and contented with his life and his passing.

Your photos will be fine memorial showing that he was happy that you were able to honor your promise to him to keep him home as long as possible. That will be a comfort to you in the long run.

You know how to reach me if you want to grieve or simply to talk.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Love,
Audrey

Babs,

My thoughts are with you and your family. If you need someone to listen- I'm here. (I really am)

Love,
Clare

Babs, I am so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

You and Ern are in my thoughts, Babs.

Babs I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that you made Ern's illness more comfortable because of your caring and love, and I'm sure he departed this earth at peace, knowing he was loved as deeply as is possible.

My thoughts are with you and your family...Love, Joni

My prayers are with you and your family.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,

What sad news. I am so sorry for your loss babs. I wish you and your family all the best and hope that you can all comfort each other in this tough time.