Hi, I just really do not know what to do anymore, nothing at all seems to motivate me. I have been bulimic and anorexic for 14 years and am so tired of it. Right now I am at a normal or even a few pounds over a normal weight and everyone is so happy that I am CURED, but it is all I think about and I really would love to curl up and die, oh I don't think I would commit suicide because my luck I WOULD go to hell, so I guess I will have to suffer it out and pray for an early demise. Will anything help me, I do want to be normal I just don't see it happening.

You may have been "cured" of the eating aspect of your illness, but the emotional component certainly seems to still be intact. Eventually, you may relapse into the physical expresson of those feelings because you need to deal with the feelings not "cure" a bad eating habit. Honey, you need to get some help... you need to get some counceling to help handle those feelings, how to find out what is causing them and how you can resolve them. You won't feel better about yourself until you become PRO-active instead of letting life ebb and flow around you. You want to get better or else you wouldn't be psoting on here. If you need to talk or want some private advice you can e-mail me.. my name is Sherasi and I am the moderator of this forum.

sherasi@answerpool.com

I kinda know how you feel in a way... I dont know
what if feels like to be you, but I know what it
feels like to want to die and that feeling is so
overwhelmming... it comsumes most of my thoughts
and it isnt fun at all Luckily I am getting
help now. I want you to know that there IS hope
and I hope you seek professional help. Here is a
support group for anorexics and bulimics as well
as self injurers and this will NOT cure, but it
is nice to have some support and comfort. Please
talk to a professional!!!

Kittypal

Your history of being bulimic and anorexic has been a long battle. It is not something that just goes away. Congratulations on being a "normal" weight. I know that was hard to reach. But like Sherasi says the emotional state it still their. Please go seek help. Talk to someone. Talk to us. Life can get better. I know because I have been depressed for the last 3 years and I'm finally seeking help. It was hard to do but worth it. Check with your insurance and find out if you are covered to see someone. If you don't have insurance call your local health department and ask them who to call for free counsiling. It will be worth it. YOU are WORTH IT!!!!
Take care you can email me also if needed.

[This message was edited by Sherasi on 07-21-02 at 11:32 AM.]

Thanks for being so nice, all of you, I DO want to get better and lead a normal life. I called the Dr. and he wasn't in (figures) but I will call back Monday and see if I can get on anti-depressants or something, too many years have passed already. Thanks again for showing people care.

First of all congratulations for beeing on your normal weight. I now it´s a terrible and difficult struggle that you have managed to win.

On the other han I want to recommend to you what I would recomend to anyone who is thinking about getting antidepressant and all. Your conflict has an emotional basis. The anorexia was a symptom of this problem and that it had dissapeared the conflict is still there and no pill will take it away. The one thing that may help you solve it is psychotherapy with medication if you want, but don´t take medication without therapy.

If you have any questions about this please, feel free to contact me.

Best of luck and congratulations
Lucia