I am 26 and often act so implulsively that i wonder whether i have a deeper problem...
mostly my actions are that i decide that i need something from the store (usually just silly things, nothing expensive or over say 30 dollars) and then immediatly go and buy it with not much thought of how to make the money in the bank stretch for the rest of the month-as long as there is currently enough money there, that´s all i need. even if it is something that i won´t need or be able to use for a while, i still go right away to get it. my husband on the other hand seems to have all the patience in the world and is willing to wait until the end of the month to buy the new shoes he´s been needing for a long time and if there isn´t enough money there, he can wait until he gets paid. i know a part of my problem is that i am a little bored and am excited at the thought of having something to do, but i wonder if that´s all. as a child i was brought up in a middle class house and never had to do without anything and my husband has said that i am a little pampered. is this just a symptom of being bored, or maybe a phase?

It's those 20 and 30 dollar purchases that add up over time. Do you have a problem - possibly - but the fact that you recognize that your spending habits are not normal is the first step in the right direction. Shopping can be considered an addition and some would even classify it along the same lines as gambling. If you think you are bordering on tbe addictive line now, seek a form of therapy or join a support group before your small purchases start mounting up and your credit cards are maxxed out. If you shop because you are bored I can certainly understand that. Next time you feel the urge to shop - go window shopping. Leave behind your checkbook, debit card, credit card, whatever. And go shopping! Try on new clothes and shoes. Try on jewelry. Try the samples. And when you are ready to go and want to have that new purchase to take home, go get a free sample somewhere such as a perfume counter. Of course, with many addictions, it might be best to find an outlet other than shopping to relieve you of your boredom. But I just offered a variation of shopping should you like to try that first!

If you need to chat more feel free to drop me a line! Or if you get bored you know where to find me!

Hassia, I'm the same way! And my husband is just like yours with money! Also, my hubby was poor growing up, and I was raised like you, with everything I needed and wanted. I never realized how bad I am with money until I got married last August. I think it's a discipline thing and that you never totally learn your lesson until that one day comes when you don't have the money for something you REALLY NEED. After that you start to think twice before making a somewhat irresponsible purchase.

thanks Georgia,
but it´s not exactly that extreme. I only buy the things i need like a new shampoo even though the one at home is still half full, just because i am not happy with it anymore. it´s not that every purchase is 20 or 30 dollars. I only go shopping when i need/want to buy something specific. i don´t really think it´s an addiction, but of course it´s always a possiblity. It´s the lack of control. I don´t know if it´s a bad thing (like my husband seems to think) that i like to go right away, or if i am just bored...
Cris, that is my situation. my husband wasn´t poor, really,but he paid for his own education and apparently was taught how to save money. i am really glad i have him and that he has that skill!

I think maybe your husband is right. I've made the observation that people who were spoiled by their parents (often only children and or/from richer families) have the urge to get all their wishes fulfilled immediately. I'm the exact opposite, because my parents kept me very short (unemployment, younger siblings, etc.). I still don't have much money so when the wish to possess something arises I think about it carefully (will it pay off, what shall it cost, look like, where to buy it, etc.). Often I think about it so long that I come to the conclusion that I don't need it after all, and later I'm happy that I didn't buy it. I think it might really come from the way you were brought up and is also being enhanced by boredom.
I've also heard that shopping can be addictive, and I think there's something to it. I actually don't like shopping because it means spending money, but when the list of things (like clothes, etc.) I really want and need has several items on it and I have enough money then I sometimes go shopping for several hours. And I must say: even I as a non-consumption-oriented person get a little kick out of buying new stuff.
I think you could look for some alternatives to do in your free time that give you satisfaction and don't involve spending money. I see you live in Germany, so you could go cycling or hiking in our beautiful countryside, for example.

OK, I understand the issue now. I am an only child and when I want something I want it right now! I don't see anything wrong with buying necessary items. If you have the means to do it then what harm is it? If, however, you rely on your husband for the finances then perhaps you could find a part time job so when the urge strikes to buy the latest hair product or whatever you have the means to do it!

Dear Hassia,

I see what you're saying and think it is really neat that you are willing to see the issue. Good for you!

You probably know that the answer is inside you, although it may not be completely clear, yet. Some possibilities in over-spending (if this is the issue) are:

1. Underspending for long periods of time. This may lead to feelings of being deprived. Even if it's a stick of gum, we can buy ourselves something on an affordable, regular schedule.

2. Spending money to fix feelings; to feel excited and happy. (Addiction.)

3. Sabataging financial stability.

From what you said, the last 2 may very well not apply to you. Those are major issues. I wrote them down for perspective.

Hope this helps.

doriek

I want to know if you are impulsive in other areas? I am bipolar and very impulsive, I can be ready to move across the country in 3 days and have done it twice. Bipolars have to watch themselves very carefully lest they find themselves with a whole garage full of refridgerators like that lady on the TV commercial. My mother used to say, "Never leave the house without a nickel in your pocket for the phone." Leave the rest of it home, as Georgia suggested. Catty