I Have a friend that had just gotten thu radiation for breast cancer and since then I have noticed a major change in her behaivor. Actually before this she seemd rather religious and now shes running the bars and drinking frequently and have frequent sexual partners. She is so different than she used to be so I have tried talking to her and all but to no avail..She is an RN and knows what she is doing..I just hate to see her like this..How far should we go with friends when they dont seem to want to stop? Any suggestions ? Thanks Sammy

Sorry to hear about your friend. Sounds like she has lost her hope to live. You can be there as a friend to give her encouragement. Show her that she does not have to go slumming to have a good time. A bad reputation is quick to get and hard to refurbish.

You can also be tainted by her bathroom stall wall reputation just by association. So it is important that while you extend your friendship you keep your feet out of the mud.

I fully agree with gatman. Much as you would like, you can't live someone else's life for them. You can't force her to change. All you can do is be there as a supportive friend.

As gatman says, though, watch out for yourself too. No-one else will! Don't let yourself get dragged down into behaviour patterns you don't want.

Thanks for your input you guys..I appreciate it.

as a voice from a different direction... your friends may feel that she almost lost her life (she saw mortality looking at her in the face anyway), so she is going to live life to the fullest (at least her definition of "fullest"). She may also be expressing grief by "punishing" herself.. many people respond to stress in their life by abusing their-self (emotions are not necessarily rational). Another issue might be, she may be wanting reinforcement from men that she is sexy and wants to feel desirable or sexy following her disfiguring and emotionally disturbing trauma.

At this time, she probably is unconsciously choosing her path, and is rationalizing why she is doing it. Be supportive but stay out of her way so you don't get "Sullied" by the same brush (reputation). She may also resent you if you push her too far.

Good Luck.
~Sher~

yeah Sherasi I agree with you on that to I think shes had a brush with death and for some reason is going the other way now. I know some people who have almost died have thought of this as a second chance but, for some reason...shes went the opposite. I have tried to talk to her and all shes not listening she thinks I should come and join her instead.. Thanks