Well.... I had to go and say I was doing ok lol......Wait .I'm still doing ok. Just a bit overwhelmed...So I thought I'd share it with you all!! Here's a perhaps rhetorical question.. or maybe one I just don't want to deal with. Why does it seem that I get to so many impasses in my life ... or that all the things that I'm trying to deal with get to the same 'I've done everything reasonable I can do' at the same time??
I had that shoulder injury in December... we've done everything reasonable we can with the claims adjustors... it looks like we hadve to go into a suit. Does it always take this long? Or is my lawyer slow and this case for some reason just taking forever? The doctors in the same case have send me to PT for all this time unsuccessfully, given me injections which also have not help, and were about to recommend surgery, when they suddenly changed their opinion of what the diagnosis was. And yes.. this is the 3rd opinion I've gotten. Now I'm being referred to yet another type of doctor, so I can either start all over again, or give up. 6 mos into it, it's hard to make a call. I'm getting quite frustrated with it all.
For over a year, the man of my dreams and I have been fighting with UK laws to try to get him divorced. We haven't even breeched the immigration laws yet, although the immigration attorney that I've been dealing with on my end has assured us that that part should be easy under our circumstances, at that point I'm totally cynical. This I won't give up on, but it adds to my feeling that everything remains in limbo.
I recently developed ovarian cysts, (sorry to the men that are reading) which has caused some uncontrollable menstal cycling, and bleeding. I had one period that lasted for 48 days, and had to be stopped with a course of provera, another that lasted for 31, stopped for 2 days, then was back on for 21 days. I've just had an IUD inserted to try to control the bleeding, as - believe it or not, the cysts don't need to clinically be removed surgically as of yet.
Needless to say, I've been fighting off my ever present depression... and doing pretty well I might add, but it's creeping up on me. I feel like I'm working against a force bigger than I. At some moments I just collapse to the fight, and at others I stand strong, and turn it off. I'm doing what I can to stay on top of it, but it's so hard, especially since much of it is physical in nature, and I feel so alone at the same time.
I guess I just needed to vent, and I thought.. what better place to do it.....
That definitely sounds like a lot. It sounds like you're handeling it fine and your being able to do so right now says a lot. It's a lot to go through without the aid of someone else to help you along. Keep it up and keep moving forward, aim for new change for yourself and eventually some problems will pass and you'll find yourself with new opportunities to find happiness with.
Posts: 6407 | Location: Grayson, Georgia, USA | Registered: 06-03-02
Oh, is this a venting thread? Don't tempt me! Suffice it to say that I just read that I am getting over sacroiliitis, or so I think. It's like having a toothache from something the size of a quarter in one of your buttocks . . . and everywhere else, since along with the intense pain you stiffen up and swell up. Don't worry: since I read all about it and realized that the worst is over, I ate pretzels, cheese nips, and ice cream to celebrate. I am still swollen anyway. Now, to your present short list (since you just cannot deal with the rest of my "challenges").
I had a frozen shoulder. The physical therapy did zilch. So I got the lowdown on home exercises from the orthopedic surgeon. They include making circles with the arm while holding a saucepan, doing the up the wall crawl as though you were a roach trying to reach the ceiling, and pretending to dry one's back with a towel. What was most agonizing about the frozen shoulder was how I gave it to myself by sitting incorrectly at the computer, because no one ever told me to watch out for the eventuality.
I know someone who had gyn problems for decades and claims that provera made her o-b-e-s-e. She since had a hysterectomy finally . . . and is still obese. Monitor your situation closely, and ask a lot of questions.
You have a man of your dreams who is someone else's? Join the club. Enough said on that topic.
How can you claim that things are bad when you have time to get depressed? I just visited some great websites on how much fraud is in psychiatry. Oh, go raid your refrigerator, or do something else which is enjoyable. On rare occasions, it is all right to be selfish. I am having one such occasion just for me right now! Sign me, Blubberass.
I'm not sure exactly what a frozen shoulder is. No one has mentioned that one to me..... As far as the gynie stuff, I only had to use one quick burst of provera. I'm not using it long term. I only used it that one time when I was at 48 days of bleeding, to stop that one cycle. We're hoping the IUD will take care of the extended bleeded, and problem will be a thing of the past.
As for the man of my dreams...... no.. he doens't belong to anyone else lol. He's been separated for years, and they didn't bother with the red tape of divorce... now i know why... it's a pain in the ass in the UK. It does look like we're looking at the light at the end of the tunnel however. then we get the joy of immigration red tape!...
being depressed - for me - has nothing to do with time on my hands.. or fraudulant psychiatry.
I wish that I had any words to help you, but I don't. Life is really like that. Sometimes, when you feel so overwhelmed with problems, your water heater needs to be replaced. I have to go with the line, "When it rains, it pours."
Other times, it seems that you solved a problem and your life will get better, until another problem stresses you out. Here is another line, "If it's not one thing, it's another."
For some reason, these old lines stand the test of time. I don't know what we are supposed to understand about life. I don't always figure out how to get through it either.
Maybe we need hard times to strengthen us. Maybe this makes us appreciate what we really do have good in life, but often take for granted.
Rely on family and good friends to help you through tough times and be a friend for them in exchange. In the end, things that seem such a disaster that keeps us awake at night, our problems of today have a way of resolving. I guess it is part of the human experience.
Can we get a philosopher in here for this one! lol!!
LOL that's about the sum of it!!I'm a philosopher after dark.. have I mentioned??? snicker snicker..... I'm doing jus what you said... and facing the tests of life... I know my reward is just around the corner
Trials and tribulations, slings and arrows – blah – are all part of the thing we call “life”. Everybody suffers horribly from impasses in life. It is a pandemic which afflicts 6.5 billion people on earth (that is to say everybody) and there is absolutely no cure and no treatment.
In theory all of that stuff is supposed to make us better people and supposed to make us more appreciative of the “good stuff” in our lives. The reality is that this is life – everybody has their cross to bear – most of us carry it regally, a few of us whine and snivel on the way to the execution, and a very few enlighten individuals actually accept things as they are. Those are the ones who laugh on the way to their execution often being confused for the insane.
I would like to lie to you and tell you that this is only a temporary hiccup on the road of life – however being an honest person I want for you should know that there will always be “something” dragging you down – there will always be A Problem – A Situation – A Stumbling Block – yet one more impasse to pass through.
The only people that have a perfect, flawless life are the ones buried in cemeteries…
…oh, right they are dead.
Depression BTW is a serious issue and will ultimately make everything appear to be ten to one hundred times more powerful/bigger than they actually are. Depression tends to get one to focus on the negatives, the impasses in their life while brushing aside the positives.
I suggest making a list (yes actually sit down and write it all down) of the positives in your life – when you are feeling down or over powered pull out and read that list. Add to it as necessary.
Posts: 3885 | Location: Leaving land, heading for the ocean | Registered: 06-03-02
David, as I have told you so many times before, I hate posting after you!!
Yeah, I think that I already get it. If it's not one thing, it's another. When it rains, it pours. When you don't think life can get any worse, it does.
That is my life! I try, but give up, which is the only thing you realistically can do. Give your life up to doom. Expect nothing. When you get some good moment, you really do appreciate it. They are too few.
Death is sounding fantastic! At least I can stop fighting. No, don't get your hopes up members! I am not suicidal. You wish! lol!
David, I did post before you! You already know why I hate posting after you, right?
You are a tough act to follow! You are a fantastic person. You seem to have this edge on life, at least other people's lives! I can be objective, when it doesn't come to me or mine.
I seriously hate posting behind you, with good reason!
It only appears that I have my act together. The truth is that after 40 years I still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up I still cry over things I can not change - I just learned to reserve crying times to shower times. There are times when I take a lot of showers.
Objectivity is learned, it is not "natural" (Nobody I know comes at it naturally) - and it’s not an easy skill to learn. There are plenty of times where I need to remind myself to step back, take a deep breath and look at the situation from a distance - it can be hard to do.
Posts: 3885 | Location: Leaving land, heading for the ocean | Registered: 06-03-02
I'm not going to say this twice. Nice isn't exactly my strong suit. David, you are a very intelligent man. Your words help many, on one simple web site. Think about the good you do for others, which you will never hear a kind word for doing, ever. You did inspire another topic, so check it out!
You want a career change, consider writing a book and publish it! If you don't like writing, maybe you should take it up as a hobby, at first. I do think that you are dynamic enough to get published. Maybe you don't feel grounded, but your writing definitely is.
Seriously, you are a very intelligent and talented man. You are also a tough act to follow on some web site with a simple post. You help people keep things in perspective.
The reason I keep saying, "I hate posting after David!", is the fact that you have talent the rest of us do not. You are a tough act to follow and I hate it! lol!
In reality, I could only wish to be as talented as you are. Believe me, I am probably close to your age. The career we wanted in younger years may not make us happy today.
The 40ish age group has a rough transition to make. We do question our entire lives. We do feel stuck with choices of younger days. We cannot ignore the fact that youth is no longer in our favor. We have to make confusing decisions about the other half of our life, as older adults.
I waste so much time pondering my past decisions that I forgot about tomorrow. I feel loss and regret. I want to know where I went wrong, so I will not ever feel this pain again.
We are human. We, 40ish people, have learned enough to hurt us deeply. We do need to change our perspective. We no longer have youth on our side. We do have the other half of our lives, which we do have choice about. We are clouded with confusion. It is hard.
How do we get past the past and get on with our future. Us over 40 seem to forget that we now have freedom that did not exist in younger years. What do we make of that?
It's like being 20 again, confused by what life has to offer and making decisions that are very difficult.
Us 40 something people do have an edge on the 20 something people, we learned quite a lot that they are clueless of. We feel fear that the 20 something crowd does not. It clouds our decisions because we start making choices to avoid pain. Avoid pain and you just made a choice to avoid living the rest of your life, taking chances on happiness.
