Here's the deal. I play softball at a college that's about an hour away from my hometown. I wasn't too sure I wanted to even keep playing when I entered into college, but I did anyways. It wasn't that great b/c I just didn't really want to play anymore. And now that i'm fixing to have to go back in a couple of weeks when our Christmas break is over, I'm REALLY REALLY dreading it! I've been so down just b/c I know I'm fixing to have to go back. I've gotten so used to my life at home again that it's gonna KILL me to go back. On top of it all, I miss my boyfriend SO bad when I'm down there. And I really just don't want to play softball anymore. What makes it EVEN worse is that i have to play again next year, and i KNOW i'm not going to want to AT ALL. How can I turn this into a positive thing? I've tried everything..I just really don't want to be here.
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12-27-02, 06:47 PM
cattywampus
Why do you have to? Is it part of some scholarship deal or something? Did you sign a contract of some kind?

As for your boyfriend, you'll miss him whether you play softball or not, won't you? An hour from your home - is there any reason why you can't go home on weekends? Plenty of women in college have boyfriends, children, jobs, etc., yet they manage to pull down good grades and play softball, too.

Why don't you allow your mind to decide this instead of your heart. Put your feelings of dread in a box and hide them in the bedroom. Sit down and list out the benefits of playing softball (good exercise, won't let the team down, etc.) and the disadvantages on the other side (make sure they're real disadvantages - "miss my boyfriend" is not a disadvantage, it's an inconvenience. Now look at the paper: what's the sensible, grown up thing to do? What will make you feel better about yourself, and impress your boyfriend? (You wouldn't want him to think of you as a quitter, would you?)

Then decide.

Catty

12-27-02, 08:36 PM
Wildflower63
Good advice.

12-27-02, 10:42 PM
SweetnSour41
oh no no no..he can't play..I got a softball scholarship..It's just way more involved than most people would think..We have a fall AND spring season, so we practice and play both semesters of school. We have a lot of tournaments on weekends and our games during the spring are on Wednesdays and Saturdays. And b/c they're on Saturdays, I probably won't be able to go home on the weekends much at all. A lot of the games are far off too. And I can't drive down much during the week b/c it's pretty much pointless just to be there for a couple of hours and drive right back, I'd be on the road for as long as I'd be there. It's just really hard. And he can't come to many games b/c, of course, he has school also and plays sports as well, AND works. With some sports you CAN get a job and handle a relationship w/out many hard times, but w/softball, it's REALLY hard b/c it's a lot more time consuming. It's just hard to deal with. And my heart's just not into it as it used to be
12-28-02, 12:07 PM
Sherasi
Can you afford to go to school WITHOUT the scholarship?

12-28-02, 07:19 PM
Wildflower63
You don't get too many second chances in life. Don't blow what opportunity that is right in front of you. I completely undersand, it's hard. I understand just wanting to give it up at times. Don't give up on yourself and the opportunity you have.

As asked before, can you afford college without that scolarship?

12-30-02, 02:01 AM
tsaeb
Attending classes in school gives students a taste of what life will be like when they work full-time. Your attending classes and having to play softball is practice for your later working and having to perform some undesirable tasks. Try to focus on your diploma now as you will focus on your paycheck in the future.

12-30-02, 10:45 AM
SweetnSour41
Yeah, I'd be able to afford to go to college w/out the scholarship. But I'd have to move back home and go to a junior college there and then on the university afterwards. Which I'm at a Junior College now. That's why I only have one more year to play after this. But I'm REALLY REALLY not sure i want to! But I keep telling myself I have to b/c #1, I can't just quit before our spring season this year...#2, I have to come back next year b/c my roommate is counting on me. I'm just tired of it, and it's not b/c i'm being lazy. I've never been able to hold a job b/c of softball. I'm not eligible for a lot of jobs even in the summer b/c I play softball on the weekends then. I WANT A JOB! I want my own money to spend on things like Christmas gifts and birthday gifts and sometimes just on a few things I want. I just got a new car b/c I totalled my old one and I can't even help pay for it, so of course i get the run around from my parents on how I'm being spoiled and stuff like that. How they can't buy my older brother a new truck and it's not fair that i got a new car before he even did. They're not being as mean as it sounds, but that's usually when I have a bad attitude or am buying something like clothes for me. Sorry, I got off track. But the point is, I'd like to be able to help pay for my car even. Right now, it's hard for me to even call it MY car b/c my parents are paying for it! I want to be like most other college kids that go to school and work! I've played softball all of my life and I'm ready for a change..not to mention to make some money. I know my parents would like me to get a job and stuff, but they'd just die if I quit softball. It's like that's almost what keeps them going sometimes. They LOVE to see me play. I know I can't give up on them. I'm not quitting, MOST likely, I just would like to know how to look at it in a positive way and not be down everytime I leave home to go back to my college life.

12-30-02, 12:19 PM
Sherasi

quote:Originally posted by tsaeb:
Attending classes in school gives students a taste of what life will be like when they work full-time. Your attending classes and having to play softball is practice for your later working and having to perform some undesirable tasks. Try to focus on your diploma now as you will focus on your paycheck in the future.

SweetnSour, Tsaeb is exactly right. All people are expected to complete unpleasant tasks as part of their work and life.

In my work I often encounter VERY unpleasant things to do (enemas, disempaction, colostomy work, IV insertions, etc) that I HATE to do. I do it because I HAVE to do it.

Having the discipline to keep this going one more year as you said is an excellant opportunity focus on the GOAL not on the immediate desires.

12-30-02, 04:02 PM
cattywampus
My boyfriend just drove 4 hours in a howling windstorm from Seattle to spend 45 minutes with me, even changed his plane reservations on a half hour's notice. If you, or your boyfriend, can't drive for an hour, well...

The bottom line is, as has been pointed out by several already, through the course of your life you will be called upon to do many things you don't want to, or enjoy doing - they are so many and varied that they couldn't possibly be listed here. This is one of those opportunities for you to prove that you have the moxie to bite the bullet and carry this through whether you like it or not.

Catty (Good Advice: 5 cents) big grin

12-31-02, 04:34 AM
MrSensitive
Playing softball pays your college tuition and you have a PROBLEM with this?!!! '

You deal with this by growing up and accepting good fortune for it's face value!

If you hate it so much, then quit softball, get two jobs and deal with it the way most of your colleagues have to deal with it!

Good Lord... What kind of children are being raised nowadays- punching a gift horse in the mouth...
I could list hundreds of people I know personally who would trade places with you in a heartbeat! Sheesh!

Mr(college is wasted on the young)Sensitive

12-31-02, 11:59 AM
SweetnSour41
Mr. SENSITIVE isn't so sensitive, IS HE?!

12-31-02, 10:28 PM
Sherasi
Catty, this IS a good response.. but I guess I am just really curious... why are you playing if you don't want to play softball? IS IT a SCHOLARSHIP? Why not bring your boyfriend with you to the games? Are there both guys and gals playing together, can he play too? Jes wunderin...

01-09-03, 12:17 PM
Elexina
School is hard enough as it is without having to deal with extra-curricular stuff -especially stuff that you apparently hate.
You need to weigh the pros and cons and decide whether or not softball is worth it. Sounds to me like it's a truly miserable experience for you...
There are other scholarships.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,