Hi all,

I am posting this because I am in a bit of a mess. I'm in my 3rd year of college and am planning to drop out. Since the 1st year, my grades have been getting progressively worse (from straight As the first three semesters to Cs and below now) and I have lost all interest in whatever major I happened to have in a particular period of time. However, I continue attendance because my parents wouldn't dream of my choosing to drop out. That's really the problem.

I'm not happy with college and I feel I can do better without it. It is fact that one doesn't need college to succeed or be happy and proof of that can be found nearly everywhere, even though the opposite can be true, as well.

So, how do I approach my parents with this issue? I know it won't be the same, as they are rather proud of my accomplishments in high school and through college. I need ideas on the best way to let this be known.

P.S. In case you're wondering what I would do if I were to drop out: I have started two successful busineses and run them part time. I have several employees who do most of the work, so lack of time isn't an issue for wanting to drop out, nor is the complexity of classes.

Just go home and tell them. They aren't going to be happy (and they have no reason to be). Nothing you do or say is going to make it easy but the best thing to do is to just go home and tell them face to face. Show your parents some respect and listen to what they say and realize for a moment that you might actually not be as mature and full of knowledge as you might think. Experience means a lot in this world and your parents and others might have something to offer you in your current situation.

I think you are making a big mistake no matter how many businesses you've started on your own or run. Finishing college isn't hard and don't make it seem like there is any reason to not get your head back into it. You are just giving up and being lazy.

Sorry, but to say anything else is just lying. You obviously have the ability and you are just wasting your opportunity on dreams of a world where degrees don't matter. Sooner or later it will matter... the chances that it won't are very slim. It is an excuse for someone in the future to not give you the full opportunity, pay or responsibility you might deserve. It will be a weakness that you will need to defend.

Face it. For anyone with a good head on their shoulders college is easy and it isn't anything other than your own lack of focus that is preventing you from graduating. 3 years is a lot to throw away without getting the credit.

I know too many people who were idealists when they dropped out of college and realists when they have to go through the pain of finishing that degree later to get where they want to be.

English is a difficult language, huh? It's great how it can provoke unwanted opinions from unwanted people.

It sounds to me like you are just burned out and overwhelmed. Your grades went down when your motivation and interest did. What WILL hurt you is a low gpa and dropped classes. You have put in too much energy, effort, time and money to stop now. Finish your classes, change your attitude, make the best of the situation until the semester is over and then... take a break. I really hope you decide to go back soon for yourself. You seem very capable and talented.

So what do you tell your parents?

Tell your parents that you just need a break and some time off. Don't be so absolute about quitting. I really do see you finishing school but not in the way you have been doing it. You need to go to school for yourself and go into a field you will love.

I think even you don't know what you want. Take some time to think about everything. It sounds like business would be an excellent career choice. You should talk with a counselor about career options. People switch their majors all the time and thats ok.

Take a break and relax. Then, just go back and do it. You can!

college stress help and other tips

CLare is right; you need a break. If your grades are slipping and, as it seems, you really don't care that much about it, you are not only wasting your time, but messing up for a later time when you may want to come back. (Those lower grades stay on your transcript. I had to get special permission to graduate when I went back to college in the 90s because my GPA included a great deal of very low grades from 20 years earlier.) As Clare said, use the 'break' approach with your parents. But don't break too long without doing something productive. If things are as you say, your parents will see a positive change in your attitude and mood.
Now for some unwanted, but valuable advice - After a semester or two, consider taking a class just because you are interested in the subject. Don't rule out going back to get a degree. With two businesses operating, you seem to have a feel for business. That may mean loans, partners, etc. down the road. Having a degree can only help raise your stature in those areas.
Good luck, and keep us informed.

I have an idea of what you're going through.

I graduated high schoolin 1981 and went straight to college. I completed two years, but I had so many other things that I wanted to do and my heart wasn't in school. No one could convince me to stay or stop me when I decided to leave college.

I left with an AA degree, fully intending to go back and finish eventually. Long story short, I went back 20 years later and have finally graduated with my BA at age 40.

I will say, the best experience of my life was going back to school as a mature adult, having worked a few jobs and having a specific career path in mind. I am very grateful that I finished because it paid off (literally) with my career. My first job back from college, into the industry which I had been previously working, paid me $20,000 a year more than when I left to go back to college full-time a year and one-half earlier. I had the college degree that the company that I wanted to work with required, and they hired me at a salary that was commensurate with my work experience AND my education.

I've since learned that more and more companies are requring 4-year degrees for "career" positions. That's not to say that there are not many successful, non-college educated people out there doing great things; it's just not as common these days. I will also tell you that one of the most influential and talented individuals I work with in my field has 3 years of college. When asked why he left college, he says that his heart wasn't in it and he was ready to tackle his career aspirations without it.

Maybe you just tell your parents that your college experience so far is leaving you empty. Tell them that you really want to give your entrepreneurial spirit a chance to develop. Maybe running your own business will help you to determine what degree would really be beneficial to you in your career development strategy. You may need to "make a deal" and let them know that you'll reevaluate your situation in a year, and perhaps then your business experiences will help you determine the direction you'd like to proceed in regards to your education.

They may be disappointed, but you are an adult and your life direction is your own.

I won't kid you, going back later is tough! Also, my parents paid for my first two years and when I went back, I paid for it all myself! I personally believe, however, that paying my own way through school, along with my mortgage, car payment, and basic living expenses made me appreciate my education much more than my younger cohorts.

You already know that 3 years invested is a great accomplishment and walking away with one year left may be a big mistake; the risk is yours to take. Your question was "what do I say to my parents." Hopefully, I helped answer that.

Good luck whatever you decide to do with your life.

Life my friend is compromise. On the one hand you have your dreams and plans and your "goals" on the other you have the hard wall of reality which usually means you must give up something somewhere along the line.

With that said; Instead of just "dropping out" compromise, decide to take the year off to "get my head straight".

That is a loaded line, it means different things to different people but it also suggests that you have a lot going on inside that you need to work through - which obviously due to your grades and your apathy over the college thing there is "stuff" going on which you need to work on.

Since you have the two businesses going money isn't an issue here, and you can underscore that with the parents. You have "something to do" for a year that will keep you busy-ish while giving you time to blow off steam, forget some book learning and "live" a little.

Approach it from that angle - taking a year off to figure out what is going on with you, what your major is, where you want to go in life. etc.

I think that is what you need, not to just quit and never return, but to take a break with the clear intention of working on the issues and figuring out what you are going to do now.

I think your parents will understand that much more than "I'm dropping college, I don't need it."

David

From my own personal experience, back when I was younger, I did something similar to what David suggested. After 2 years, I took a year off. I had a job during that year and took a couple of night classes at a local community college. Classes I took not for going towards a degree but rather something I wanted to take on my own.

This proved to be a good move for me. During that year I ended up changing course & went a different direction. Better planning. And I am glad I did. My parents were concerned about what I was doing but things worked out.