My 4 year old daughter keeps seeing what she calls a ^fast guy^ running through our house. I haven't seen him. Could she be imagining or actually seeing a little person. I have asked her for details, she is not alarmed says he is nice and goes in an out of the walls. Any similiar experiences?? ************************************************************ 05-08-06, 10:35 PM DorianGreyed I wouldn't be overly concerned unless things start showing up missing, or this "person" becomes a big part of your daughter's life, and gets blamed for things missing or broken. Imaginary playmates are common for children that age. One of my sisters talked to her thumb, and one of my nieces had an invisible friend who had no feet. (I have no idea how she knew that he had no feet. Maybe he told her.)
05-08-06, 10:40 PM DorianGreyed MAGINARY COMPANIONS AND SECURITY BLANKETS: AFFECTS OF PARENTAL ATTACHMENT ON RECOLLECTIONS ABOUT THEIR ADULT CHILDREN Mwende K. Mualuko University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee
Abstract
The childhood phenomenon of imaginary companions (ICs) has been described as healthy and related to the normal development of imaginative behavior (Singer & Singer, 1990; Taylor, 1999). The most commonly used definition of ICs, although controversial, is taken from Svendsen (1934): "an invisible character, named and referred to in conversation with other persons or played with directly for a period of time, at least several months, having an air of reality for the child but no apparent objective bias" (p. 988). Instances in which the child personifies an object, such as a stuffed animal, are not considered ICs under this definition. Research, however, that includes stuffed animals or another tangible object (TO) that the child pretends have a stable personality (e.g., Singer & Singer, 1990), and studies that adhere to Svendsen's (1934) criteria (e.g., Manosevitz, Prentice, & Wilson (1973) have both found high incidences of childhood ICs (65% and 28%, respectfully).
05-09-06, 05:52 AM FredPuli Been there and done it ! It's perfectly normal, (though some affected children may end up posting on AP as adults, so that claim may need qualifying). It does seem commonest among only children. Children with little brothers or sisters don't feel a need to imagine anyone else in the house: quite the reverse !! The amusing thing is to note what happens when the child grows out of it. I was an only child and had three such imaginaries. When my mother asked why she'd not heard about them lately she got the offhand reply that all had been killed in various accidents: one had definitely been hit by a bus, but we forget my explanation for the demise of the others Big Grin
05-09-06, 04:49 PM kittypal I had two friends as a little kid, they were adults and lived in my closet...I wonder whatever happened to them? Razz
05-10-06, 10:19 AM MrsS Either she has an imaginary friend or your house has a benign ghost, either way, I wouldn't worry too much... the imaginary friend is something most of us outgrow, though I admit that mine still serves me as a sounding board from time to time when I'm under especially high levels of stress. A ghost will either become invisible as she grows up and loses a child's gift for accepting the inexplicable or eventually, you'll move and that will be that.
05-10-06, 01:07 PM Georgia85
quote: Having an imaginary playmate is typically assumed to have a positive effect on children's social and cognitive development.
Well that explains a lot! I never had an imaginary friend - lol. So question....do these kids that do have them, are they aware that they aren't real or do they really believe that have a special friend that no-one else can see? I would think that if they really thought they existed it would border on them being delusional or having a form of psychosis. Shouldn't a child be able to distinguish real from fantasy? And is it really healthy for the parents to be amused by such a thing and to contribute to the fantasy by playing along and having pretend tea-parties and setting a place for the imaginary friend at the table, etc (I watch a lot of movies). This has always interested me. Now keep in mind, growing up for me was reinforced with facts and Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were only commercialized characters I heard about but was not raised to belief in.
05-11-06, 07:31 AM MrsS Georgia, my personal observation is that the imaginary friend is an instance of neither "delusion" (in which the child believes the friend is real) nor "Make believe" (in which the child is willfully, knowingly inventing) but rather a pocket of "Suspended reality" where the friend is known to be not quite real but the child does not especially care about that detail. I have a theory that these characters serve as a safe way for a child to explore his/her own personality, "try on" different traits, maybe traits that the child feels are lacking in himself... for example, my imaginary friend was quite outgoing and athletic, when I was a painfully shy bookworm with two left feet. I bet if you talk to a child about his/her imaginary friend, 9 times in 10, the friend will be very good at something the child wishes were among their own skills. As has already been mentioned, it's only a problem if the imaginary friend becomes the child's favorite scapegoat for missing, spilled or broken items, or otherwise seems to be taking on too much reality in the child's mind. My position would be, and has been, to play along with the tea parties, but to refuse to give him a spot at the family table.
05-11-06, 10:22 AM Georgia85 Thanks for the enlightening. I've never known anyone who had an imaginary friend so have not been able to get a first hand account of what that must be like. I like your explanation and it almost sounds like there is a fine line between an imaginary friend and split personalities. I wonder if people who have Multiple Personality Disorder never learned to disassociate from their "imaginary friends" 05-11-06, 12:37 PM
MrsS It seems as though many people forget their imaginary friends... I've spoken to people who say they never had one only to have their parent or older sibling tell me stories of the imaginary friend that person had as a toddler/small child.
05-11-06, 03:44 PM kittypal Like I said, my two friends were adult women, probably now that I think about what they looked like they had to be mid thirties or so...I never really played with them, they were just there with me when I played alone...I can vividly remember what they looked like and what they wore.
05-11-06, 11:09 PM honilov My sister and I both had imaginary animals. We called them 'squizzards'. Everyday we'd run from them. Big Grin
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