An 8 year old neighbor girl has caught the eye of my 6 year old (gifted & talented) son. He wants to give her a love note. After he mentions this desire, my 10 yr. old son (also very intelligent) also decides to write a love note. This idea comes out while Dad is at home and Mom is away for the evening. So, Dad thinks this is not appropriate and tells them so. They are both mad and hurt and confused by Dad's reaction. I don't think I would have known what to say either. We've been in the neighborhood for one year. She is a pretty little blonde, but they rarely play together and do not attend the same school, so she is more like an acquaintance. Any ideas out there for the appropriate response? Thanks; I can always depend on the wisdom of AnswerPool.
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05-24-06, 11:51 PM
jusork
What's not innocent about love notes? What's the confusion? I see no reason not tell either son to go for it.

05-25-06, 05:38 AM
Sherasi
That would be totally normal behavior. Sylvan, my 9 year old, has recieved several little notes over the last 2 years from little girls. He takes little notice to them, but plays with her no more or less than any other child.

It is innocent and age-appropriate behavior.
cvle of school or friends anyway.

05-25-06, 12:32 PM
Julia0802
Well, it's nice you have had positive experience and/or feelings about this. My oldest son sent a love note via e-mail when he was in 3rd grade and age 8. The parents of the girl were very upset and told his teacher! The teacher relayed it to me and I attempted to apologize for him and they didn't return my call! My son eventually wrote her an apology note (he really didn't love her - it was a rebound thing). I feel that a cute little note saying 'you are pretty' or something like that is more appropriate. If they are really playing frequently, maybe the 'I love you' part is okay too, but like I said they rarely see her and I think parents should help kids understand their feelings and that enjoying seeing a pretty girl does not equate to 'LOVE'. It's not too soon to begin teaching that!

05-25-06, 01:11 PM
FredPuli
Julia, the only thing wrong with your six-year old is that he prefers an older woman. Big Grin Believe me, that's trouble brewing .They know more than any younger man ever will Roll Eyes

05-25-06, 01:26 PM
Sherasi
There is just too much 'political correctness' going on.. well, really... at ALL....

Kids DO need to learn the rules of relationships, interactions with others (which includes the opposite sex).

In my day (at their age.. granted that was 30+ years ago) there was none of this malarkey of mom and dad even knowing about the running after the boys on the playground or bieng chased and kissed by the boys on the playground. That was all just growing up.

I know that situations CAN get out of hand, but those are in the miniscule minority of such events.

Its sad that this is even an issue at all (or has to be).. NOT meaning YOU are making it so, but that society has MADE this situation become so complex.. or a 'situation' at all.

05-25-06, 04:27 PM
MrsS
Okay...what did the note say?
If it's standard pre-teen "I like you" "You are pretty" "Will you be my girlfriend?" stuff, I'm just not seeing the problem.

05-25-06, 04:40 PM
jusork
I think she's worried about kids saying things about love when they probably don't understand it. Maybe she thinks one of them will get confused about it and get their feelings hurt.

05-26-06, 07:57 AM
MrsS
Jusork...I actually DO know what the concern is, I was simply expressing that I don't think there is cause for alarm... This sort of thing has been going on since time began, the only new twist is that it used to be that the only adult involvement came when teachers caught the children passing notes in class, and note passing was the issue at that point, not the content of the note.
And yes, someone probably will get their feelings hurt, also a totally normal part of growing up, and as much as it hurts to see a child you love sobbing their heart out, it passes quickly and rarely causes any long term problems besides those created by well intentioned adults.
05-26-06, 09:01 AM
Jelp01
Gee, I'm jealous! Even at that age, I was considered a social leper. Mad Razz Big Grin

05-26-06, 02:53 PM
jusork

quote:
Originally posted by MrsS:
Jusork...I actually DO know what the concern is, I was simply expressing that I don't think there is cause for alarm... This sort of thing has been going on since time began, the only new twist is that it used to be that the only adult involvement came when teachers caught the children passing notes in class, and note passing was the issue at that point, not the content of the note.
And yes, someone probably will get their feelings hurt, also a totally normal part of growing up, and as much as it hurts to see a child you love sobbing their heart out, it passes quickly and rarely causes any long term problems besides those created by well intentioned adults.



Ah. Check then.

05-26-06, 09:18 PM
Julia0802
Maybe the concern is more about the parents of the girl, since in this day & age a love note will likely make it into their hands. My other son's note was something like, "I want you to be my girlfriend. I love you". Boy, do those parents need to get a grip on the real world. Still can't believe they told the teacher. It wasn't even on school time. Geeeeez! Well the latest update is my older son says he has a crush on someone new (2 days later) and my younger son is glad he didn't give the note to the neighbor. I guess their confusion and anger at Dad faded quickly and as kids do, they've moved on to something else to focus on.

05-28-06, 07:09 PM
honilov
Believe me, a love note is not a problem compared to some things that kids that age do.

05-29-06, 05:30 PM
kittypal
Personally I think the other girl's parents way ober reacted, it's JUST a note and I think it's sweet and cute...As long as it wasn't "advanced" for their ages. I really don't see the problem, but do know that a lot of people do over react to what I think are a totally normal part of growing up.

05-29-06, 05:31 PM
kittypal

quote:
Gee, I'm jealous



Dearest Jelp,

I think you are handsome and I like you!!! Smile Wink

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,