Suppose that you die and for the first time hear God speak to you.

Question:
What will you do?

Choices:
Beg, "Lord have mercy."
Bicker, "Let's make a deal."
B, "Where the hell am I?"
Bull, "Tsaeb said there'd be days like this."
Other

 

It’s difficult to imagine hearing from a deity I have never experienced, in an afterlife I do not believe exists. So I’ll go with “other.” Something along the lines of, “oh sure, NOW you show up” and “damn, these are some powerful drugs they have me on.”

I know I'd say, "Where the hell am I?" because I've experienced that a couple of times. Thinking I may not wake up at all, and then being pleasently surprised that I was still alive. Of course if I'm in a different or unfamiliar place and someone introduces himself/herself as "GOD" with a capital "G", I'd be asking a lot of questions. My first guess, I'm in the booby hatch! Who's this loony?

I voted 'other' because my first question would be, "Hey, you didn't let me stick around long enough to find out the answers to some things i've been fascinated by, but on the other hand you had me live in some very interesting times, so no complaint. But answer me this, will you?

1. How many planets have life on them?
2. How many universes are there? And are there always made of the same stuff? Or do they have unique chemistries and physics' ?
3. Did you ever have sex?
4. Now I know that you exist, I know who created the universe; but do you have a theory about who created you?

quote:

Originally posted by babthrower: 4. Now I know that you exist, I know who created the universe; but do you have a theory about who created you?

I guess I'd just wait and see what God wants or what God has to say. I don't have any questions that really have to be answered, and I don't think I need to beg forgiveness for anything, so I'd just play it by ear.

I'd probably ask if I could hang out and watch how other people react though... that would be good for a laugh.

You all just taught me why we go through this stay on earth . . . so that God and the angels get their biggest laughs when we pass away, although they get a few less interesting laughs watching and listening to us throughout our lives.

quote:

Originally posted by tsaeb:
...so that God and the angels get their biggest laughs when we pass away...

Wow, that's pleasant.

Most of us have such commonplace ideas and conversations that I am absolutely sure that any beings with vast and unlimited intelligence would have much better things to think and talk about than our petty little preoccupations. I mean that's what the people in the other place would be sentenced to do: spend all eternity listening to the meaningless babble of us humans.

You think you have ever had an idea that no other human ever thought? No, I'm afraid we are a dull and boring lot -- even the most evil of us. The inquisitors did evil much better, centuries ago.

Yes, the ideal divine punishment would be to force sinners to listen to a cacophony of human thoughts.
- tiresome lusting after food and sex
- petty annoyances
- even pettier jealousies
- spiteful reruns of he-said-she-saids

forever and ever and ever

Worse, far worse, than being condemned to watch television soap operas for all eternity.

No, tsaeb, I'm afraid you totally underestimate the good taste of imaginary divine beings. They have ceased to laugh at the triteness of human preoccupations millions of years ago. It got old fast.

I'm not sure about that fourth option - "Tsaeb said there'd be days like this." - what if God said 'Who?'

babthrower: They are laughing so hard right now that they are almost wiping their eyes. They are laughing at your yelling, "I don't believe it! Tsaeb was right!"

newnickname: Make sure that you pronounce that "tib." If there is any questioning, then shout "the beast" or "the prophetess" or "the nut," whichever comes out fastest. If all else fails, meow or woof: God and angels like pets . . . or they'll think that you are spirit filled and talking in tongues.

Enough jokes by me for now, because I just got one of those alerts that someone tried to attack my computer.

Tsaeb, which prophecy was right? That the angels and gods will be laughing their heads off when we die? But we didn't die yet! Can't call that one a hit until it happens.

Maybe one of those naughty angels attacked your computer. They move in mysterious ways, you know. Or maybe god sent a false 'alert'. Just to test your faith. Or maybe it's all in your head.

babthrower: I have one of those virus protection updating things, which at times seems to update itself and then boast about it. Anyway, you do remind me of the time that cricket came into my apartment, and you tried to convince me that it was a government spying device.

Well, yeah! What else? How could it have been a real cricket? They prefer the country.

The question on the list of topics “What to Do when God speaks?, Does not match the question inside the topic “Suppose that you die and for the first time hear God speak to you.?

So I will answer the first question, “What to Do when God speaks? You stand startled. You say nothing, and you learn, For God does not waste words.

Then if you have God speak to you in a dream, You know it was Him, Who else would answer your question with a Parable and leave you awestruck, Wondering “He gave me a Parable, How in the world am I going to figure that out?”

Ken

In case any want to try the Parable, I was looking down in the road, there was a nest with 2 broken eggs in it, Somehow I knew that meant two people had died, I also knew God was standing next to me, Dressed as a normal man dresses, I asked Him, “They are already in Heaven?” He said “Yes, Ken.” Then all the questions going through my head that I wanted to ask Him, I asked “How many questions can I ask you, without you getting mad?”

He said “There is a House, There is a thousand in one room, there is a thousand in Elizabeth’s. Think about.” Turned and left.

????????????????????????? He gave me a Parable.