I envision neat and orderly rooms, even gorgeous, colorful decor. A place for everything and everything in its place. But I get farther every year from the image in my aging mind. I'll turn 50 soon - agh! and my son's are 12 & 8. My husband does a lot for the family; mostly surrounding the meals. The kids even pitch in with laundry folding & dishwasher duty. I am away about 11 hours each day for my commute and demanding job. The house is always a disaster; laundry being the main problem, such as clothes that no longer fit or meet the pre-teen's idea of 'cool'. Clutter is the 2nd problem (it grows out of the walls, I swear). A husband without the title handyman is the 3rd problem (it took him 3 yrs. to change install the modern towel racks).
But . . . . I hold on to my dream . . . . . it's got to come true in 2009, but how? P.S. the finances are too tight for a cleaning lady right now. Besides, I've tried that and it's too much work preparing for her visits.

Donate the clothes that no longer fit to a charity or trade them at a consignment shop for fewer items that will actually be worn.

Box out of season items to be stored out of sight until spring.

If your household is anything like mine (and half the households in cold climates), there are a dozen or more coats that no one has worn in 3 years, but have kept "because they're so warm"... Keep 1 or 2 of them per person and sell, donate or trade the others. Coats take up a lot of space and with them gone, you'll have room to hang up the coats you actually DO wear.


Declare one weekend "Operation ClutterSweep" and just buckle down the whole family to cleaning the place top to bottom.
Be ruthless about getting rid of broken items that you thought would be repaired "someday", shoes you've been meaning to get resoled for 3 years, broken toys, games and puzzles with missing pieces.... cassette cases? The box your telephone came in... You're not returning it to the manufacturer for repair, toss the box already. Paperbacks you're never actually going to read again can go to a charity shop, a nursing home or the local library.. the equipment and supplies for long abandoned hobbies or crafts like fabric painting or needlepoint? Donate to the appropriate classroom's art supplies.... Convince your kids to do the same ruthless weeding in their rooms.

Once you've restored order:
Assign each of the kids to spend 15 minutes each weekday cleaning something in addition to their dishwasher duty and laundry folding (and their rooms).For example- Monday one vaccuums and the other cleans the bathroom, Tuesday,dusting and mopping, etc)
15 minutes is pretty painless, but done consistantly it means that pretty much everything gets done at least once a week.

Bribe them if needed, but don't make it optional.

Good luck!

Chores. Back in my youth chores not only included cleaning my room, but also slopping the pigs, feeding the chickens, gathering the eggs and shoveling out the hen house every weekend into the compost heap, tend the ducks, shoot the occasional predator, pull weeds in the garden, split wood, haul in buckets of water..... And, and, and... then I would go to school.

Its not mean, it is manual labor, but it is not 'bad parenting' to have kids do some honest work around the place.

Divide up the work load 'evenly'. Meaning if you have a 2 year old you would give them what they could handle, not expect them to take the car to the store and shop as you would from the 17,18 year old. Although the results may make for an interesting test some day....

That clutter does not just 'grow out of the walls' it is put there by you, the spouse and the children (and pets if any). Its high time that everyone learns that for everything there is a spot and everything must be returned to its spot. My Dog knows that she has a toy box and will pick up most of her toys when I tell her to 'pick up the toys'. Most, not all, but she will go around and pick up the obvious ones and put them in her 'toy box'. If a dog can do it....

My 43 year old has a 'bad habit' of not putting things away, it has been a very slow, uphill process over the past 13 years to retrain the adult to do what I learned when I was 5. The older they get the harder it is to retrain them to neatness. Trust me you are doing their future spouses a huge favor if you train them to pick up after themselves.

Make a family weekend out of it, yeah sure they will grumble, complain, the husband may kick and scream a little, but trust me if you push hard enough they will eventually come to accept 'Household Weekend' when it comes around every two months or so, depending on how much carp you all gather in a period of time.

The kids need to decide what fits and does not fit and what they will and will not wear. THEY need to try it on, and if it doesn't fit it goes into the 'TOO SMALL' Pile. What they refuse to wear because it is no longer 'cool' you can decide if it is worth wearing out or around the house.

Handyman skills are learned, they don't grow on trees - practice makes perfect.

Handyman Hiring:

Unfortunately when it comes to handymen in general many are con-men of a sort, having no idea what they are doing and ultimately are only looking to scam some money. If you do hire, hire one with references (past clients) hire one with the right tools. Start him small, say painting a bedroom - no much can go wrong with that, however you can get a decent idea of his timeliness and if he does the job well. Then add something else, a little nonstructural carpentry work see how that turns out.

I hate to say it because it may sound bigoted, I have found that Latinos are more honest laborers and more skillful than whites when it comes to the handyman trade, less dirty dealings as well.

Do not have a handyman do electrical, plumbing, gas lines. do not allow them to be the one to add an addition to your house or take out a wall, unless you know what a load bearing wall is. For that type of work you get a contractor, a licensed one, professional plumber, professional electrician, professional Hvac guy.

So how much have to saved up for decoration of the house? If nothing then you and the spouse need to sit down and discuss a savings account dedicated to the Impossible Dream. If push comes to shove that savings account can become emergency funds if one or both of you lose a job. If not then you have a real 'solid' plan and are working toward the goal. It feels much better to not have what we want if we have something we can look at and see as being a 'work in progress' or a 'step in the right direction'.

This is all good, Mrs. S and David . . . thank you. It also boils down to energy and down time doesn't it? I mentioned my commute and working hours. Often it takes me 1/2 the weekend just to razzle up some energy and motivation for myself. And then . . . to motivate the family to help more . . . that takes a heck of a lot of energy. But I think we'll turn over a new leaf this year. Yes, we will have household weekends a few times and have 15 minutes a day helping in some additional way. Yes, these boys will be men their wives will appreciate!!!
Thanks.

Another suggestion that I've found works for me...

Looking at the entire house can be depressing and overwhelming, even if you've convinced the family to have a "house cleaning day".

I take on one room - starting at one corner and go around the room cleaning, organizing, etc., as I go, finishing by vacuuming or sweeping, depending on what room it is. Generally, by the time I'm done, I feel energized and pleased with myself, so go to the next room...and the next.

Once deep cleaning is done, if everyone pitches in and just cleans up after themselves, things will stay nicer, longer Good luck!