I am at my wit's end trying to cook for my husband. He's virtually bedridden now and very weak. He's off chemotherapy at least for the time. The oncology staff warned me that the chemotherapy would affect his appetite but this is just awful. He's rapidly losing weight and it is killing him. He hates everything.

I made him a few spears of the most delicate fresh asparagus on a crust-free round of toast with a bit of home-made bechamel sauce, almost no spice, fresh butter, etc. He always loved the first fresh asparagus each year.

He took one bite and put his fork down. What's the matter with it? "Too salty. The butter's rancid. It's awful."

Well, I ate it and it was delicious. I used to finish all the food he didn't like but since he was on a high-calorie diet I soon started gaining weight while he continued to lose. So I stopped cleaning his plate.

I found he does better with food which is not really calorie-dense: not too sweet, not too fat. Also he can't tolerate strong flavors so spice is about zero now.

I need some new ideas. He hates liquid meals such as Ensure. Hates the 'artificial' taste. He can't eat rough-textured food such as whole grain food because of mouth sores due to chemo. He hates those little custards and rice puddings you can buy in single servings at the supermarket. He hates fruit juices and fruit salads, though he will eat small quantities of fresh fruit, sliced.

I serve very small servings and place the food attractively. No spare crumbs on the plate, etc.

I hope someone with experience feeding invalids can come up with some ideas.

Babs,

I had a Gastric Bypass and required a very specialized High Protein diet with extremely limited varieties of foods.

I got a Silver Bullet small blender/chopper system and used Protein powders (the sort that the hospital provided initially dissolved so thoroughly that adding it to any pudding-like substance or fluid worked out beautifully) to boost the nutitional content of the food.

I instructed my cancer patients (and other nutritionally challenged patients) on the menus I used and it worked very well.

The powder I used (and I tried vast numbers of varieties and none were as versitile as this.. the others tasted terrible) was called Beneprotein.



I made my own protein drinks with fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, ice cream/yogurt/juice/ice/milk, etc. You can get VERY creative with almost any combination of food/hydrant with the powder. AND you can make any portion size you like with no waste.

What I liked about that site (that is where I bought mine from), is you can buy buy the single can OR the case... Trial Version first and get more later as it were.

Cancer Treatment Recipes

Some Shake Recipes (that you can dd protein to if you wish)

Anyway, Babs, if you want to email me (my pesonal info has my email), we can discuss this further. I did a lot of instructing as a Home Health Nurse and can provide a lot of ideas and suggestions.

Thank you, Sher!!! I feel better already. There's hope. I'm sure as a nurse you've seen how quickly cancer patients can go downhill. I'm ordering that powder product right now.

I already have a good mini-blender that I use for mixing up infant formula powder to make a 'better' milk.

I am glad you found my advice helpful.

It IS a challenge, that is no question. But I am sure you are more than equal to that challenge.

BTW, let me know how it goes with the protein powder, okay?

Actually they don't ship to Canada. But the local health shop has a similar product I'll check into. Also my married daughter lives practically on the border and has friends in the U.S and I've asked her if her friend could accept the prepaid package and then she could pick it up.

I prefer using the exact product you have recommended, though, because you have experience with it, and will pursue that whether I buy the local product or not.

But it's comforting just to know there's an option. I thought I'd tried everything.

Sorry about your hubby, Babs.

Is there anything in This Link that may be helpful to you?

Have you thought about picking up a few jars of baby food? Seriously. They have no added preservatives and aren't too sweet. They don't add spices, salt or sugar. They have the toddler foods which are actual pieces of food in the jar or box. Gerber graduates

I know this is a very difficult time for you. Your husband is very lucky to have you. Being a care provider can really take a toll on the body and mind. Sometimes people just forget about themselves when they are so consumed with the needs of another. I know it's a stressful time for you. Make sure you also are taking care for yourself.

On the link I posted below there are foods to try. Although it is geared toward women, I'm sure the same symptoms and remedies apply. I hope it helps.

Great site with lots of info

That special recipe site is very good, in fact the red lentil dal is the first one I'll try. It made me remember that he used to love lentils.

That idea about the baby food is a good one, low salt, low spice, bland flavors. I tried it on him before and he hated it but it's well worth trying again because his tastes change from day to day. Thanks for the suggestion. Also I'll check that cancer society website. Never thought of checking that out.

He gets impatient with himself sometimes, he is motivated to eat, he fully understands the consequences of not maintaining food and fluid. It's just that everything disgusts him. And when he gets impatient with himself he snaps at me. It's as if he's saying, "I want to do what you're urging me to do, dammit, but I just can't. So stop bugging me."

But it's really hard for me not to bug him to eat, when I see how thin he has become.

Thank you for opening new avenues to me. That's exactly what I was looking for.

Bab, I have an extra can of that powder I'd be willing to ship to you. Email me and we can discuss it.

Audrey

I have no experience to back this but thought I'd share my thoughts in case they help you:

Can he stand any kind of nut butter? Trader Joes has a nice selection of various nut butters - not just peanut butter - soy butter, almond, cashew - all high calorie.

Other ideas:

honey?

A mildly sugar drink like Vitamin water might be okay - they are high in calories without bubbles and aren't horribly sweet.

Can he tolerate pureed potatoes? in a kind of soup? It seems horrible but it's about the blandest thing I can think of. It would be some good calories if he could tolerate it.

Just wanted to share the thoughts in case anything here can help you.

Thank you, Sher, I'll e-mail you. Ami, I have tried organic almond butter and peanut butter of course, and he tried both but won't eat them any more. Actually we've tried just about every reasonable health bar and nutrition-packed health food I could find or that the extended family can think of.

The pureed potatoes is something he does eat in small quantities, and pureed sweet potatoes, and baby carrots.

Thank you all again for your helpful suggestions.

Hi, Sher
I emailed you and got this message:

Reason: Remote SMTP server has rejected address
Diagnostic code: smtp;554 Sorry, no mailbox here by that name. (#5.1.1)
Remote system: dns;smtpin.ptd.net (TCP|10.0.120.135|35059|207.44.97.35|25)
(smtp10.mailnet.ptd.net ESMTP )

Also there's no news on your profile for your new baby! Needs an update!!!

Bab, check out the email and my update.