In my 'sent' folder, I see one dated November 27 describing myself and my husband as 'fit and active'. Within a few days that picture had changed.

My husband had complained of constipation, very unusual for him, but we didn't think anything of it.

He took some Metamucil. Didn't work. He took some laxatives. Didn't work. Took some stool softeners. Didn't work. Then a few days later he complained that straining had caused a life-long mild hernia to hurt. I noticed that he was looking very pale and tired. Went to the doctor, who did a routine physical and found a mass near his liver. This was followed by a blizzard of tests.

Upshot is that he has bowel cancer which has spread to his liver. It was way too late for surgery - "It would kill him", the doctor told me - so he started chemotherapy on December 21st. He's dealing with the chemotherapy really well. Luckily he can get that treatment right here in our nearby small town. He hates to travel. He's dealing with everything really well - positive and cheerful and co-operative even though he knows he has two years at best. And if he can't stand the chemo, he has six months.

Here's the problem. The bleeding from the bowel (which seems to have stopped) had made him anemic. I wanted them to give him a direct blood transfusion from me (I'm healthy and have the same blood type). That way he wouldn't risk getting tainted blood from an anonymous donor. (As you know, chemotherapy damages the immune system.)

The family doctor thought that was a great idea, but said he couldn't do it!

Seems that the Canadian Red Cross will not allow either his oncologist or his family doctor to perform a person-to-person transfusion. The blood must come from the Canadian Red Cross.

So he had the transfusion and immediately improved in energy, and no longer felt chilly. No signs that the blood was tainted so far -- I take his temperature every day. He had another blood test yesterday and his hemoglobin count is still all right.

So here is the problem.

If he needs more blood, can he and I go into the States so he can have a direct transfusion? Or are the vampires in control there too?

I am so sorry to hear what your husband and you are going through.

I imagine in the USA it would depend on the state you'd be going to (and maybe also the clinic- email some clinics near the border?), but I do know some people who had person-to-person trasnfusions (due to rare bloodtype in a small town, in this case) there, so it is possible at least in some cases.

Please accept my best wishes for your husband's continued improvement. This is a Bader-Meinhoff moment; today I learned that people from England cannot donate blood in Canada.

I'm so sorry to hear about your problems, Babs. I have in the past donated my own blood for my own use when I was due to have open heart surgery. Mightn't it be possible in Canada for you to donate and bank your's for your husbands use through the Red Cross blood bank? It should be worth investigating.

Thank you all for your thoughts. I looked into direct transfusions when my daughter was about to give birth to her last child. She was scheduled to go directly to surgery for a full hysterectomy etc. for cancer immediately after the birth, and at that time the Canadian Red Cross would not allow us to bank our healthy blood - even her own adult children's.

Since that time, it was found that a lot of Canadian Red Cross blood was tainted. So I somehow assumed that it would now be possible to donate for a specific patient. But I was wrong. I think it's outrageous.

But I don't have time to mount a campaign right now. All I want is to have the option no matter where I need to go to get it. It's unfortunate he will have to travel -- plane to Vancouver, plane to nearest U.S. city which (we hope) can provide the service, travel to the medical center, get the transfusion, then return. He should not have to travel when he's so weak.

I'm trying to act as normally as possible so he won't feel like a 'sick person'. It's pretty tough. I was urging him to eat a little more than he wanted to, because of the anemia and his weight loss. (He's lost fifteen pounds since December 1st). He told me to stop being a pain in the a**!

I did not tell the extended family at Christmas because there was nothing they could do, and I did not want to sadden them at that time. The family did not come up to visit us because another great-grandchild was imminent (Dec 26), and so I made some excuse why we would not travel down. Christmas eve was the worst, for me. I never, ever cry. But I cried then. But I made sure he did not see me.

I can't believe how brave he is. I always knew he was a great guy, but only now am I learning about his courage.

"The American Red Cross is pleased to provide two special blood collection services. In an autologous donation, you donate your blood for your own upcoming surgery. In a directed donation, you donate your blood for a specific person's use.

— Both these special blood collection services require a physician's order.

— Please Note: There is no evidence that this type of blood is safer than blood from the community supply. Also, due to the testing and processing time needed, directed donations are not suitable for emergency transfusions.

Directed Donation: Giving Blood for Someone You Know

In this program, you donate blood to a specific person known to you. As with all donations, you must be in good health and pass the routine screening tests. In addition, you must have a compatible blood type.

Getting Started For an Directed Donation

As with autologous donations, the patient's physician must fax to the Red Cross the special collections order form. You can then make an appointment by calling the special-services coordinator at Red Cross Blood Services. Donations should be made at least 7 working days before the blood is needed and be sure to bring a driver's license or other photo I.D. to your donation appointment.

* You must meet all of the eligibility requirements of whole-blood donation.
* The donation process is the same as for whole-blood donation.

What are the costs?
The patient's hospital blood bank can tell the patient the normal processing charge for each unit of blood he or she receives. The fees for directed donations are not always paid by insurance policies. Please check with your insurance company or Medicare.

What about testing?
All blood collected by the American Red Cross (autologous, directed and the community supply) undergo the same extensive donor screening and blood testing." - American Red Cross

Babs, I'll call them tomorrow to find out more information with regard to your situation.

This sounds wonderful and is a great relief. Thank you, DG.

I do need to know one more thing: the area closest to us (closest to, say, Vancouver, B.C. or Washington State, probably) at which the transfusion could be given.

I don't think it would be realistic of me to expect my husband to travel far for the transfusion. If the travel sounds too daunting, he will probably veto my wishes and simply take his chances with whatever blood the Canadian Red Cross wishes to give him.

My guess is that Seattle will be the place.

Aw, Babs, I'm so sorry... I share your admiration for your husband's courage and I'm impressed with yours, as well.

Seattle, probably either the University or Swedish Hospital, is probably your best bet.
Swedish has a pretty amazing oncology department, from what I hear... I know them for their cardiac care clinic, they cared for my mom a few years back. I will see if I can track down their contact information.
Big hugs

Thank you, MrsS. Actually I don't think I have courage. I soon found out that the best way of getting through is just to follow the recovering addict's motto and live one day at a time. Sometimes we just have to endure.

Then other days we chat and laugh at the cat's antics and everything seems just normal.

Isn't sid from the Seattle area?

I hope your husband continues to improve. I will be thinking of you both.

Oh, Sweetheart, don't you know that that's what courage is? Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is carrying on when what you really want to do is crawl under the bed and pull the dust ruffle down behind you until it's over.
Trust me, you have it.

First of all I'd like to say how sorry I am to hear about what you and your husband are going through and to commend you for the strength and courage (yes you do) that you are showing. I realize that under times of duress the last thing you want to do is fight a beaurocratic battle or do a lot of research so I wanted to help you out and try to find some answers for you. I do not live in Canada and so have only resources I find on the internet to help out. But I did find out something interesting. The Canadian Red Cross used to control the blood used for blood transfusions but then when there was an outbreak of tainted blood they were forced to hand over the responsibility to the Canadian Blood Services. From what I have found they do allow person to person transfusions.

Can I use my own blood or blood from someone
in my family?

Directed Donation:
Refers to the process where a specific donor’s
blood is assigned to a specific patient. Patients with rare blood types, bone marrow transplant patients and minor age children may qualify to receive blood from this program. Directed donation is not routinely
available. The doctor can arrange a directed
donation if this is appropriate.

However I have just found minutes from their June 13, 2006 meeting and it appears that the direct donation policy is Adult to Child only
Agenda
I want to continue to research this for you to see if there are any loopholes I can find. I did find reference to how critical it was that blood not be tainted for a blood transfusion (from a donor, not through direct donation) if the patient is undergoing colon-rectal surgery. Perhaps his doctor can use that rational when contacting the Canadian Blood Services to ask for the direct donation. They claim they generally don't allow adult to adult donations. To me that sounds like it is possible to get one.

Well Babs, I know you don't believe but I'm gonna pray for you anyway. Feel better to you and hubby!

Bab, dear, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's illness. I know from previous posts that he is the light of your life and this is very difficult for both of you. I don't have any suggestions to offer but I will be thinking of you both.

DD

I am really at a loss to say how much your words have touched me. It's strange, and it reminds me of the internet pen-friend, ewood, who was such a comfort to me before. It is as if because we are not connected in ordinary ways, I can say anything. I can't say everything I feel to those around me because much of what I would like to say would only cause them pain.

VV, of course I cherish your words. They mean that you wish me well, and want to comfort me. Aminator, MsSusag, your words are generous and very comforting. Thank you. It's as if a kindly hand were placed over mine when I felt utterly alone. Thank you for your gifts.

DD, I see that you understand that my bond with my husband is strong. We went to the clinic today for infusion tube removal. When we got home in late afternoon, and when he was comfortable at last in his chair and covered by a robe and with a heating pad warming his feet, I sat beside him, in another chair. I reached over to check if his hands were warm. He took my hand in both of his and stroked it. I thought, "How long will I be able to feel his loving touch? How can I possibly bear it when his hands are no longer there?

Georgia, your practical advice is wonderful news. I have e-mailed Canadian Blood Services and I hope they will have good news for me. My children and grandchildren are ready to donate, once they know where to go. It looks as if I won't have to go. Also an e-mail from an Answerpool member who wishes to remain anonymous has mentioned a Vancouver business who may be able to help, although they are borderline illegal. As if I care about that, at such a time.

Just one more suggestion. I don't know if it is worth anything or not but here it is.

There are wellness centers where the emphasis is on improving lifestyle habits, providing physiotherapy and specialized nutritional supplements including glyco-nutrients. Once the protocol is established, the patient returns home to continue it.

I have no experience with or knowledge about this other than what little I have read and ads I have seen on TV. It appears that some cases have been helped. You may want to check into it.

Also, I just read yesterday that passports are going to be needed very soon (like next week) for anyone entering and leaving the U.S. Please keep that in mind if you decide to come to the U.S. for any treatment.

DD

Canadian Blood Services has answered my inquiry promptly. This is what they said:

"... our directed donation policy is restricted to donations made by a parent or guardian to a minor child.

"Directed donations, where blood is collected from a specific donor to a specific recipient, have not been proven to be safer than regular whole blood donations ... In fact, research to date suggests that the incidence of transmissible disease test markers (indicators of the presence of a transmissible disease) are higher among directed donors than among the rest of the donor population.

"This is based on studies that have been conducted mainly in the United States where directed donations are more widely practiced and not limited in all circumstances to parent to child.

"... we have one of the safest blood systems in the world. We test all blood collected, using the most advanced testing methods available. The infectious diseases that we test for are: syphilis, hepatitis B and C, HIV 1 and 2 (the viruses that cause AIDS), Human T-Cell lymphotropic virus HTLV-I and II (the viruses that can cause a rare form of leukemia in adults and chronic nervous system disease) and West Nile Virus. We use a test called NAT (Nucleic Acid Amplification Testing) for the hepatitis C virus (HCV) and HIV in blood as it significantly reduces the “window period” or the time between initial infection of HCV and when the virus is first detectable, using previous antibody tests. NAT slightly shortens the HIV infectious window period and further decreases the possibility of transmission of HIV via transfusion. As a result of our stringent screening processes and sophisticated technology, the chance of transmission of an infectious disease like HIV through a transfusion is very low, at approximately 1 in 4.7 million ("Bloody Easy: A Guide to Transfusion Medicine", Health Canada, 2003).

"All this being said, Canadian Blood Services does allow donors to bank their own blood for surgery ... an autologous donation".

I don't have the background to assess the scientific stuff, but it does seem reassuring, don't you think?

Thanks, Georgia, for steering me to this source.

It sounds as if there are limits even in the U.S. to who will be permitted to give blood by direct transfer.

quote:

Originally posted by doñadiana:
There are wellness centers where the emphasis is on improving lifestyle habits, providing physiotherapy and specialized nutritional supplements including glyco-nutrients. Once the protocol is established, the patient returns home to continue it. DD

Thank you, I didn't know that, either. I have been practising do-it-yourself wellness.

Our normal diet had been heavy on whole grain cereals and bread, home-cooked things (to avoid additives), and home grown fruits and vegetables (to avoid pesticides, weed killers and chemical fertilizers). We did not supply all of our own food, though, and we bought quite a bit from the supermarket. We use a small servings of meat and cheese, also bought from the supermarket, and quite a lot of low-fat cottage cheese. We eat fish we catch, or wild fish from the market. We now eat market eggs because our chickens were decimated by local wildlife so we stopped raising them. We use coffee, tea and moderate alcohol. We don't smoke.

Our environment has clean air and is quiet and stress-free.

We exercise mainly by doing gardening, yard work, and going fishing and walking in the countryside.

This has all changed since he became unwell. Now I buy prepared salads (fruit and vegetable), and feed him fried food such as liver, bacon and onions (for his anemia) and eggs several times a week. Cholesterol is the least of his problems. Also I make meatless stir-fried vegetables with whole grain rice.

He continues to lose weight. I, however, am gaining weight. I think I overeat to comfort myself. Also, neither of us exercises as before. At any rate, I will watch my weight, now that I've noticed, because he depends on me utterly for his care, and he does not want to go to hospital, ever.

We have no wellness center here, but I will research it, thank you, DD.

Hi babs,
First of all let me say I am sorry that you and your dear husband have to go through this. Yes I do think the CBS's reply seems reassuring.
I can only hope that after the tainted blood fiasco here in the 90's that our blood service system is the safest anywhere.

I would think that anything the organisation does is heavily scrutinised now, after all the mess-ups that took place while blood collection was run by The Red Cross.

When I read your post it was on a day when I too had my own issues to deal with concerning this subject.
My 15 year old son will undergo major spinal surgery in about a weeks time in London, Ontario. The nature of the operation means that he will suffer major blood loss, and will need transfusions.
He is ineligible to donate his own blood in preparation for surgery because he doesn't weigh enough. The rest of the family cannot make adult to child donations because we lived in the UK during a certain time frame, and apparently are at risk to pass Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease via our blood.

As a family we have decided to trust the Canadian Blood System and allow him to recieve a regular transfusion.

I tell you this not to offer my advice, the decision on whether to use the CBS will be one that you and your husband must make together, but I wanted to offer you my experiece and thoughts about the system.

I really do think at this stage our blood system is as safe as it can be.
Ironically, the new regulations that stop me donating, are among many that were put in place to reassure us that we can trust this organisation once again.

My thoughts are with you and your husband, and I wish you well. dg